Start of the Silly Season ... begins with Stupid Social Behaviour

Can this be true? Over a month without updates? Whatever happened to the verve and zeal (not often you get a 'v' and a 'z' word in one sentence) that once prevailed between Blogger and myself. Perhaps Blogger decided to use me only to get the attention of a prettier, more quality blog. I say this because 'apparently', it is a well known (albeit unbeknownst to me - note to self: get out of hole) social phenomenon for men to court ugly females ONLY to gain easier access to their beautiful/hot friends. The theory being that the beautiful/hot friend will then automatically assume that the guy is Darcy-decent by virtue of the fact that he is dating an ugly girl.
However, this theory is premised on the following basis:

Girls categorise their friends into 'ugly' and 'beautiful'.
Personally, I don't consciously or subconsiously label my friends as ugly or beautiful. Therefore I would not deem a guy Darcy-decent just because he is going out with one of my friends who I neither consider ugly, nor beautiful, i.e. perception of decency is mutually exclusive to aesthetic perception of friends.

The 'hot' friend will date the guy who's got a dog of a girlfriend.
Hypothetically, if I was the 'hot' friend in the equation, I would refuse to date someone who was going out with my ugly friend (not that I am implying that I categorise my friends in such a rudimentary manner) since her chances of scoring a XY would be less than mine (should I be hot, and should society place more value on beauty as opposed to personality). Wow, so many caveats here.

Ugly girls have hot friends
Another social myth proposes that people of the same aesthetic qualities tend to stick together - hence the saying "birds of a feather flock together". Meaning that ugly people hang around ugly other people, and so on. Apparently there is hard evidence behind this, as illustrated by the modelling community.

Perhaps the connection between my lack of blogging and current social behaviours is nebulous - but you have already read this far so I won't go ahead and justify it.

It has indeed been a clumsy couple of days. Managed to stain my NEW basketball uniform last night with impenetrable Thai laksa gravy. Oh the heartache! Fortunately the stains were limited to the left side. Unfortunately, it left a colour disasterously close to urine. Thank golly Sylvia was around and ameliorated the impending depression spiral by offering to treat it with some wonder spray. You are a life saver SS (could stand for Super Star, but Sylvia Santoso sounds better)!
Then at lunch, a clump of guacamole fell out of my wrap and on to my shirt. Fortunately nobody witnessed it. Unfortunately, it is the colour of a really sick person's snot.

Was in Melbourne on Monday and Tuesday of this week and OMG I have created a Big 2 (i.e. choi dai di) Monster! I taught my manager to how to play on the plane into Melbourne. He then decides to force our whole team to play at the dinner table at some fancy schmancy chinese restaurant on Southbank. So desperate he was to play, he commissioned someone to buy 2 deck of cards on their way to dinner. Everybody was fully giving me dirties when they were all forced to play. But alls well that ends well because everybody had fun - even though I didn't win ONE SINGLE GAME - the horror!

Okay, time is up. May blog more tomorrow.

Updates Already ...

So it's been a while hey?
I am reflecting on the reasons behind this paucity of blog entries and here is what I have conjured:

1. it hurts to reflect;
2. it hurts others when I reflect;
3. you won't get reflections unless there is sun.

Okay, I am really starting to question the quality of my entries of late.
I will have to stop relying on the 'Marissa-basketball-philosophy' i.e. style over substance, and start utilising alphabets instead of pixels.

So what springs immediately to mind? I'm better with headings:

Admission
FINALLY got admitted to the Supreme Court of N.S.W on the 8th October, but not without hitches. First, Wayne and Mindy arrived late when I specifically instructed them otherwise - then they tried to sit in the seats reserved for "movers" only. Good one! Then my 'mover' (my manager) was unexpectedly made to say my full name, which includes my chinese name. That's like asking an American to speak proper English. Then I had to bow in front of everybody, and I am never good with bowing. I have an awkward bowing motion - something for me to work on. Nonetheless, I had a good time feeling quasi-accomplished for 30 minutes.

3rd Degree Burn
I don't really know my burn degrees, but I'm assuming it can't be that much different to the classification of murders. In which case, 3rd degree murder is the equivalent to manslaughter - which is caused by negligence rather than actual intent. The point being that I burnt myself on a car exhaust the other day. Now I am fortunate enough to own a perfect concentric circle (tautology) on my right calf. It's like a UFO has mistaken my leg for a crop field, and left mysterious concentric patterns to mark its presence.

Under Dog
I think I have developed a habit of rooting for the underdog in all situations. I got to sit in on our P.A interviews the other day and when it came time to voice our preferences, I found myself inextricably supporting the candidate that had NO CHANCE. Yup she was a dog.
Same theory applies when watching movies - who cares about Charlie when Veruca Salt is truly the underdog in 'Willy Wonker and the Chocolate Factory' that will never get the sympathies of anybody. And can you really support someone who chooses to ignore filial obligations over patronage to some psychopath megalomaniac in Willy Wonker (i.e. when Charlie rejects the money to steal the recipe or whatever it was).

Seattle Storm Wins!
I was sitting in 'Cheers' bar watching the Storm take out Game 3 of the WNBA Championship, albeit without the luxury of any audio since there is this STUPID ASIAN MAN who is there watching the STUPID baseball every time there is a WNBA playoff game. He is always there smoking his stupid cigarettes and shaking his gay weedy legs. Grrrrr! Anyway, while I was watching Game 3, this man makes the dumbest comment: "I bet you that girl (he was referring to Sue Bird) is wearing that mask because she just had plastic surgery". I was a) appalled; b) offended; c) outraged at his obviously apparent stupidity. I quickly whipped around and said slightly curtly: "she broke her nose you dumbass" (except without the dumbass bit). Isn't it sick that people just assume that a girl would wear a face mask only for beautification reasons?
Nevertheless, I was very VERY happy when my team won! YAY!

Miscellaneous

Saw Open Water - but might as well have not seen it at all since I spent half the time watching the back of my eye lids.

There is a midget on The Amazing Race - it's fantastic!

My Samantha Jones workmate has seriously decided that she will not be wearing underpants when it's 30 degrees and above. This is why I am not going into her office today because I might just whiff things I don't want to whiff.

Happy birthday to Eric and YDG - edging ever so close to the child rearing age ;p

Crème Brûlée vs Jell-O

Today's header is inspired by following conversation from the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding" - one of my sentimental favourites largely due to the painfully neurotic and diabolical nature of the main character.

Jules: I'm better with food. You're Michael. You're at this classy french restaurant. You order ... crème brûlée for dessert. When it arrives, it's beautiful, it's sweet. It's irritatingly perfect. But suddenly, you realize you don't want crème brûlée. You want something else.
Kimmy:Well what does he want?
Jules: Jell-O.
Kimmy: Jell-O?? Why does he want Jell-O?
Jules: Well, he's more comfortable with Jello.
Kimmy: I can be Jello!
Jules: NOO!! You can never be the jello! Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O!!YOU could never be Jell-O.
Kimmy: I HAVE to be Jell-O!
Jules: You're never gonna be Jell-O!

So apparently you are either crème brûlée or Jell-O, and furthermore to this apparentness, I am the quintessential Jell-O according to the quintessential crème brûlée - Rebecca Lau. I guess the implication here is that I am irritatingly IMperfect and that I can never be like Cameron Diaz. Oh well, no Justin Timberlake for me. Can you have elements of Jell-O and crème brûlée? i.e. a bit of a bogan and a bit of Joey Potter-esque qualities?

I watched this rather interesting documentary last night and it enlightened me to following facts about dating/love/attachment:

When females are in their menstruation mid-cycle, they start dressing more proactively and acting more seductively in an attempt to attract the best sperm. Obviously this is done quite subconsciously. Although I can probably attest to this because I get really FAT LEGS towards the end of my cycle. I'm sure the world really needed to know that.

Females with the highest level of testosterone are often the most animated.

Pheromones travel up to 3 metres - I say throw away your perfume/aftershave!

We are attracted to people with lower voices, and this applies to both males and females apparently. As attraction builds between 2 people, you will hear their voices go deeper and deeper. So if you are a dude with a high voice/high-pitched laugh - get a new voice/laugh.

Females subconsciously pick partners via smell. Through smelling, we tend to choose a partner who's immune system is most unlike our own - I'm not sure what that implies for girls that pick men who get sick really easily.

Girls on the pill pick up the wrong smells. This means that if you were on the pill when you met your partner, you could have made the wrong choice - oopsies.

I was truly stuck between a rock and a hard place on the train last night. On one side of me was a rather obese lady (not fat, but OBESE); and on the other side of me was a man reading the bible. And this was in the 5 seater bit of the train .... ROCK ... ME ... HARD PLACE! Then this morning on the emptiest train in the world, someone decided to sit next to me even though I made a specific effort to occupy 3/4 of my 2 seater. Maybe my pheromones travelled a bit too far this morning - har! ;p

Saw a bit of Mark Latham's election speech last night. For a person that doesn't support the U.S, his delivery was remarkably similar to the U.S-style rhetoric. I don't know about these election speeches. They never seem genuine or down to earth. The audience claps on cue after every paragraph, and there is ALWAYS a reference to the wife/family without whom the candiate wouldn't be the person they are today, yada yada yada. It all seems too mechanical. I want robustness!

Getting admitted next week - YAY! A bit scared about the parents meeting manager situation though. Very precarious indeed.

Work is making me a bit loco - restructure happening (again) as well as some (forced) resignations. I will just have to take comfort in the fact that Seattle are in the next round of the playoffs and they won't be playing Diva Lisa Leslie's L.A! Hoorah!

Will endeavour to make more frequent updates, but somehow, pictures tend to make a better blog entry than crappy words.

Photos Galore


Look at my sick-air stack! Narly Dude!
See the size of the hole in the snow - I made a hole even bigger when I finally came back down to earth. The landing was very ugly and I was winded for about 2 minutes after I felt the thud. I think I heard Malinda & Sharlene laugh in the distance, though I can't be entirely certain due to the snow that was in my beanie/googles/neckwarmer etc.



The beautiful scenery from Treblecone which is an hour and a bit away from Wanaka. Treblecone is renowned for its awe-inspiring views and its black runs (which I attacked predominately on my ass)



Check out the hops!
What's a snow trip without a 'jumping in the air and pose and hope someone clicks the camera at the right moment' picture. I felt like meditating that day at Remarkables, which also earns the title of owning the BEST SNOW during our stay. Too bad it also has the title of owning the world's deadliest chairlifts.



2 thumbs up to Rebecca 'RC'/'Schmello' Lau for the fantastic cards - see how wonderfully crafted they were.


So you can check out all these photos at my fotopic site.

Work has been crazy busy lately, to the point of ad-nauseum and mini stress attacks leading to hair that looks perpetually unkept (hmmm what's new?).

WNBA playoffs are about to kick-off - GO SEATTLE, DEATH TO L.A.

Late KGV games truly suck.

I think I have really small ear holes. No headphones sit in my ears properly? Perhaps everything is small when compared to my big head. My manager was made privy to the fact that I have big head. I decided to confess to my complex by telling him the story of my high school biology class where the teacher decided to measure the size of everyone's cranium. I had the dubious honour of owning the 2nd biggest. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride ;p

Quarter Century Worth of Living Caught on Camera

Sorry for the lack of updates. I know, it's utterly opprobrious in light of the fantastic adventures that I have been fortunate enough to partake over the past few weeks. It all culminated into moments of fainty-ness (again) on Friday when, after sculling a quasi-medicinal cocktail (probably a foolish idea on the account of niggling flu that will not go away), I felt like I was going to konk out in front of New Marigold. I prefer to believe that the fainty-ness was directly attributable to the overwhelming lurrrrrve I have lapped up recently. So thanks guys for all the terrific gifts, gestures, messages and thoughts - it's all infinitely appreciated and treasured. Okay, enough *suck suck* - will post something soon about N.Z (and all my MAD stacks) and the birthday week that was.

In the mean time, visit My Photos for some visual entertainment.

Back to work *sob*

Queenstown Here We Come

Alright, I am on a 7pm flight outta here.
Destination: Choice bro!




Hopefully I will return with more snappies like these (and maybe ones with a board actually strapped onto my legs), and none of hideous bruises on asses.

Pernicious

I walked into my manager's office the other day and as soon as I sit down he says to me: "What is another word for pernicious?"
First thought that entered my mind was 'wtf'.
Second thought that flashed by was 'just make up something'.
Official response was 'why don't you look it up www.thesaurus.com".

Does such a word even exist? Afterall Jane Austen never used such word in all her exploits and she is the mother of all quality words (by the way, the wonderful WONDERFUL Darcy diving into the lake scene was aired last weekend). Upon immediate consultation with Dictionary.Com I have since been enlightened to the exquisiteness of this word - to think I have lived all these years not knowing it existed! Another regret to add on the list ;p

Dictionary.Com defines it as:
1. Evil; wicked
2. Tending to cause death or serious injury; deadly
3. Causing great harm; destructive

... I just hope he wasn't describing me as pernicious.

So in tribute to my new found word, I shall dedicate this entry to the 3 definitions outlined above (no doubt it will end up completely unrelated).

Evil / Wicked
I attended my High School friend's engagement party last weekend. The prescribed theme was 'exotic'. Firstly, I find it VERY odd that most people's interpretation of 'exotic' is to dress up in some kind of oriental outfit. So you had all these people in cheongsams, kung fu type getups, kimonos etc etc.
What the?
You mean I've been exotic all this time and never exploited it? Admittedly I would have to wear a cheongsam or kimono to fit into the description, but it's nice to know that Asians are viewed as exotic.
Secondly, my good friend from high school, who's always been a showman of sorts, insisted that the invite was misprinted and that the theme was supposed to read 'erotic' rather than 'exotic'. So she rocks up in the MOST risqué nurse outfit that covers less than the most revealing lingerie (I'm talking suspenders, ass hanging out, cleavage busting out, frills, thrills, spills). Forget the fact that they were old grannies and young tots present, you should have seen all the boys instantly turn into obsequious stupors. Within minutes, the hosts were bombarded with questions of "is she single, who is she, is she a gift from heaven, can she bear my children etc". You know you've made an impression when you are mentioned in the speech at the end of the night - but she loved the attention.

Tending to cause death or serious injury; deadly
Apparently if your body is asymmetrical, you are more proned to lose your temper and display rage. So the longer your left leg is compared to your right leg (Chad), the more of a dickhead you become on the basketball court ;p
And someone made me realise that my arms are actually not in proportion to my body i.e. they are way shorter than what they should be. I have been living under the false pretense all these years, believing that my arms were actually quite long. Now I understand why it is I am unable to rebound (it's obviously not because I am weak and meek).

Causing great harm; destructive
Sarcasm, mockery, blatant attacks, guilt trips, undermining of character, accusations, unfair comments, stern instructions - is it a matter of developing a thick skin; of learning to be less sensitive; or is a matter of putting people in their place? This is why the whole lie-down-Sally-Robbins situation is so fascinating.


Opals play Brazil in the semis tonight. Starting to get very VERY exciting! They are due to play at 11:45pm, but of course it is a foregone conclusion that Channel Crap will only show the last minute of the last quarter - man they suck!

Good luck to all those paddlers with time trials this weekend!

Regression Analysis

I don't know why but I've fallen into a habit of inadvertently wearing my clothes backwards. Be it my touch footy shorts, my turtle neck, t-shirts. This trend has been occuring consistently for the past month and usually I don't realise the faux pas until considerable time has elapsed. Like the other day, I had to reverse my turtle neck while at the lights on the way to the station. I'm sure the cars adjacent and behind copped a look (unlucky souls) and were scarred for the rest of the working day. I apologise.
Is this my brain's way of indicating that I am regressing in an ever so subtle manner?

I guess this regression activity is consistent with the approach of my quarter-century birthday.

One entity that I wished would regress to the point of non-existence is STUPID CHANNEL 7! Man are they crappy beyond belief! I so wish that the Olympic rights were allocated to SBS instead. So here's the indecency of Channel 7, whom I will refer to as Channel Crap hereafter.
Women's basketball - Australia vs Russia i.e. Number 2 in the world vs Number 3 in the world due to play on Tuesday 5:15am. Big match, AUS is a real contender for the gold medal, AUS has the best female basketballer in the world, crucial win for AUS. What does Channel Crap decide to do? Show the freakin' diving instead?! They aired all but 6 minutes of AUS vs RUS - last minute of the 3rd quarter and the first few of the 4th. What kind of perverse abomination is that? Very annoyed!! Boooooooooo!! They have absolutely no idea ... none whatsoever.

I was just mulling today, you know how people always maintain that they have no regrets, well I'm kinda the opposite. I reckon I must have one regret a day. I regret displaying excessive road rage, I regret saying a wrong word, I regret being unprepared for a meeting, I regret having a speech impediment when interacting with important people, I regret having a big head, I regret picking har mee over chicken rice, I regret cityrail etc etc. You can't live your entire life without having regrets can you? Unless people make the right decisions and I just don't. Unless it's just a question of perception.

And it has been made abundantly clear to me that some people get yelled at, and other don't. There must be something inherent within me that puts me in the 1st category. But let's not get introspective because it's Sad Hurty (Thursday) and the Boomers play The Dream(ing) Team tonight!

Oh btw, photos have been posted and here is a taste of what you can see on 'My Photos'.


Mum's & Mindy's Birthday +
Tony Chan in his sonic boom undies









All Honkie'd Out - Peko Pose and T-Toro!

Bulk Billing is Great

Hello it's Friday! Woohooo!
Today's entry may be a little incoherent due to infiltration of snot leading to an uncontrollable state of nebulousness and wooziness. No wonder I've been falling asleep every other second. It's funny how people still sit next to you on the train when you're deep in sleep and your fat head is thrashing around everywhere. Aren't they afraid that my head will end up on their shoulder? *put your head on my shoulder, hold me in your arms, baby* Perhaps people don't know that song.

Anyway, today I went downstairs to the medical centre to get my toes checked out. And guess that? They did bulk billing - score! Shall be visiting Dr Batty for all medical concerns no matter how insignificant they are. The lovely doctor jabbed my left big toe in 3 places with a needle and ... instant relief! My feet feel like they have been given new life! He was spared from having to touch my right big toe because someone stepped on it the other day during basketball. I seriously saw stars when it happened, however it proved to be rather beneficial because all this blood started oozing out and now it doesn't look as bruised. Yummmmm ... blood and puss! I actually tried the burning a hole on my toenail with a paper clip trick last night, but once I heard my nail sizzling, I kinda got scared and stopped forthwith. Maybe it was the sound of my nail plate screaming (considering plants have feelings too).

Friday Fun Activities have included:

Yum cha where I got to have my favourite Fried Red Bean dumplings (I won't even bother with the ping yin) - so good that I ordered 8 of them.

Sending Olympic hero messages to the Opals, Lauren Jackson and Penny Taylor. Here is a taste of what I wrote:

To Lauren Jackson
This year, Lisa Leslie can keep a lock of your golden hair - because that's as close as she will get to a gold medal! Best of luck Lauren and I hope you demoralise the opposition on your way to GOLD!

To Penny Taylor
Best of luck PJ in your 1st Olympic games. Why settle for a penny from heaven when you can get a gold medal! All the best and let's GO FOR GOLD!!! Cheering for the Opals - Marissa

I must preface the above messages by informing everybody that by sending a hero message, I have a chance of winning an appearance from an Australian Olympian/Paralympian at work and receive a framed and signed Athens Lithograph valued at $4600.
So really I'm not as obsessive as you think.

I encourage everybody to send a cheerio and a good luck to the Olympic team via HeroMessage.

Pain & Suffering From Blunt Trauma



Here is a picture to illustrate the reaction to my current woes, including:

1. 2 majorly bruised big toes effected by the attrition of snowboarding & touch footy. The result of having 2 ugly, useless, throbbing and painful big toes are:
   (a) No basketball *sob* - it's suffering akin to death having to watch from the sidelines;
   (b) No balance - walking like an even bigger wally than ever. Just imagine an old lady walking over hot coals and you might have an idea of my current walking style;
   (c) No closed toed shoes - but it's not like I'm going to wear thongs/sandals to work and expose my hideous toes ... so will just have to live with the pain;
   (d) No sleep - due to throbbing bursts of pain every time the heart pumps.



2. Status as pleb in the lowest echelon of the company officially manifested via demotion from office to work station when I return to old building in September. Everybody bar the PA's have offices ... guess I know my place in the world - would anybody like me to bring them some coffee? How many sugars with that?



3. You like my Mickey Mouse beanie? It's neither too small nor gay



4. Exams over! Am officially a solicitor Oct/Nov pending on results, after which I can do your conveyancing (hence the reaction above because conveyancing is truly un-fun)



5. Lots of snow and a few major stacks at Thredbo & Perisher on the weekend. The few memorable ones include careering into Sharlene which led to her tumbling 20 metres down a steep mountain (hope the camera is working); whacking my head into the ground on a flat (I really see the value in helmets now, although the weight of my head plus a helmet could be unhealthy for my neck). Injuries were sustained on the entire left side of body, however pillow did not make an appearance (yay)! Oh plus my mouth and chin are so dry now, and copious amounts of moisturiser and lip balm is just not helping. Looks like I have dandruff on my face.



6. Tony Chan off to Honkers. Here is my ode to you:
   
   Tony Chan
   Why so many fans?
   Hook layup the only move you've got
   Those sunnies - oh so hot!
   Hope you find a gal in Honkers
   So you can spend your time bonk(ers)

Okay off to lunch. Have to leave early as it will take me forever to walk like a wally to destination.

It's The Final Countdown!

Oh the spine is tingling; hairs are standing on its tippy toes; eyes are widening ever so slightly (impossible as it may be for ching chong eyes to do so); Rossini's overture to The Barber of Seville is blaring to aid the momentum into the last hours before sui juris! The Rossini Crescendo is very fitting! Haven't been this excited in days. Maybe playing ball today helped? I've become so feeble that I might as well have given the ball away every time someone came close. Though I did block the crap out of some girl - you KNOW it's a good block with the referee blows his whistle out of shock and then apologises for accidentally stopping the game.
Maybe I am talking it up a bit - but I haven't talked to anybody in days so it's allowed.

Can't to forget to mention: 'Walking (or should I say boarding) in a Winter Wonderland'. Hope the snow is plentiful and that the pillow won't make another appearance in my ski pants this year.

Woohooo!

On the home stretch and managed to score record breaking 3 hours sleep last night. That's the most in 4 days! Vitality is pretty good at the moment in light of rather weird 'walking on air' sensation the past few days. If only I was a Tekken character doing those time trial things, where you just collect "CHICKEN" every time your vitality level drops ... "CHICKEN!" Does anybody know what I am referring to?

My forearm is SO sore, not from exercising (because I've don't jack all for 2 weeks). It's from squeezing condense milk from the bottle for my coffee. I've decided to go anti-cow and stick with the unheathier, rich-in-sugar option.

Okay, property exam here I come ... GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Fat cells are not working!

I have been living voluntarily in solitary confinement (ridiculous as it may seem) for the past 5 days. Tomorrow will be the first day I get to interact with humans! I sound like Sunny from I-Robot (although I haven't seen the movie but I was never a fan of Asimov - don't hurt me Dr Goh). The excitement would be entirely warranted if only the purpose of my interaction was something a little more meaningful than bitching about how hard the exam was with fellow sullen sleep-deprived quasi robotic-state students. Okay take breath.

So it completely sucks living the life of Jodie Foster in Nell - even better that Liam Neeson does NOT come save me. At least I've been able to curb my exponential increase in food intake during my nigelness. It's amazing how fast time flies when the pressure is on to cram loads of useless crap in your head. There were mornings where I forgot to go to the toilet - I know! Impossible feat.

So yeah ... my fat cells are completely useless. You'd reckon that if your body was blessed with lots of fat cells, the least they could do is perform properly! How's this for 'I want a refund':

track pants

flannelette PJ top

thick wollen jumper

one of those sleeveless ski jumpers

knee high socks

pink bed socks

gloves

heater on

mickey mouse beanie (which may or may not be gay)

and ... still too cold to sleep.

Okay, must try and realign sleeping patterns so I can wake up for this damn exam.

No your eyes do not decieve you ... it is indeed 4:45am.
ooo all these new funky things you can do with Blogger now - takes all the fun out of HTMLing really. Okay, need to return to my piece of shit assignment which is due in a few hours

Mortification Part Deux ('Der' would probably be more appropriate)

Another cause to rip into a tirade of unpalatable language - albeit circumstances are more towards embarrassing rather than aggravating (stupid HECS debt).

Well mortification usually equates to Marissa making a fool of herself (again) in front of her manager. WHY WHY WHY? As if the errant SMS wasn't enough **cringe** **shudder**


Occasion: Fortnightly coffee catch-up
Location: Cafe on Castlereagh Street
Scene: As we were about to wrap up, this conversation ensued:-

Manager: Maybe you should wipe the chocolate off your mouth before we leave.

[ I begin my clean up as the psychologically scarring effects from the embarrassment & the mortification set in - while trying to act calm & collected of course ]

Manager: Oh wait, you are wiping the wrong spot. It's on the other side of your mouth.

[ Okay no more saving to be done. The only question left on my mind is whether I had crap on my mouth the ENTIRE time. How can you possibly take a person seriously when they have crap around their mouth. ACK AAAAAACKKKK!! ]

Learnings:

Never take yourself seriously because something trivial like chocolate sprinkles will mock you!

Stick with water when dealing with important people.

Food usually ends up on the right side of your mouth.

I wonder if we will win tonight?

Those who are offended by foul language - please turn a blind eye now:

FUCKING HECS DEBT!

I hope the government can justify squeezing the livelihood out of us poor maggots who have to contribute to their unsubstantiated, dodgy, logically unsound policies whilst bearing an obscenely grosteque debt in excess of $26K that is accumulating interest at a rate in excess of $600p.a. Crap I'm pissed off!!

Talk about a deterrence to getting a freakin' education. Talk about stymying higher learning. Do you know that before the Howard Government came into power, students were only liable for a HECS debt of $2442 a year, regardless of what course they enrolled in! Ahhh nostalgia!

How Exshoiting!

'What could be so exshoiting?' I hear the curious screams en masse. Only that I get to wear my knee-high footy socks at touch footy tonight. Woohooo! I don't know why it never dawned upon me to do so earlier. It's the perfect solution to all my woes: it keeps your legs warm during those cold winter nights when one should really be under the doona watching Queer Eye; it keeps manky puss-ie (amended spelling just for you Tony) wounds from getting re-infected (hence the lack of need to sue local council); gives the opposition a false sense of security since they will most likely equate girl wearing gay knee-high socks with unco tryhard la-hoooos-rrr. It's all very 'fetch'.

I went shoe crazy last week and bought 3 pairs in 2 days. I have since discovered that I have a complex with high-heeled shoes. No, it's not because I sometimes walk like a bigger wally when I have heels on - it's much more profound. I simply dislike being taller than my work colleagues. I feel awkward and uneasy and accordingly feel the need to slouch - and if I slouch anymore than I already do, there would be no need for me to grow old. Plus it's so much easier to run for the train when you have flat shoes on. Same goes for jay walking and escaping that person you know but don't want to talk to.

Verdict of POPP Party: resounding success. If only I could metamorphosise those fake notes into real cha-ching.

And oh yes - bets are on as to whether we choke on Wednesday.
Details are as follows: KGV @ 6:30pm - Tracey to provide the music every time we score.

Manky ... Very Manky

I have a woefully manky left leg due to excessive contact with non-plush grass during touch footy. I am the proud owner of a "festering wound" that will not stop pussing. It's ridiculous the amount of puss that is oozing out of this thing. I've had to wash all my work pants because there are all these spots of puss everywhere - it's all very crusty (pun intended)! Anyway, I thought my manky, pussy, festering wound was crippling my leg because I was starting to lose all feeling and movement - probably not a good thing just before a basketball semi-final (which we won btw - yay!). But it's amazing the placebo effect a doctor's words (albeit still lacking sympathy) can have on worried patient. And some people take WAY TOO MUCH pleasure inflicting pain-sensitive people with hydrogen peroxide.

My shoes decided to break down on me this week - it's so sad! It's so broken that it fell off while I was walking up the stairs at Town Hall Station - very embarrassing - also didn't help that I had really daggy socks on. So had to go to buy some shoes during lunch time today. In addition to my festering wound, I now have a huge ass blister on the same leg. Very ouchy.

And oh yeah, a bird pooped on me at lunch yesterday. Stupid pigeons! I hope more of them get toasted when they light up the Olympic cauldron at Athens.

Basketball Finals next Wednesday @ 6:30pm - you've all been officially informed. Should be a cracker, and hopefully we don't choke like we usually do. Let's hope I recover from my manky wounds before that time.

Birthday Bonanza!

All I can say is that there were plenty of oldies during the period 1975 til 1983 who had spring break fever. Why? Because I have been celebrating birthday after birthday for the past 2 weeks. And not one of them was even my chinese birthday - what's going on? ;p
That being said, happy birthday to the following (won't reveal ages for privay reasons):

My mother - whom apparently still looks like my sister;

Mindy - the big TWO ONE, not to mention a new double bed and a bigger room;

Shar - definitely making a mockery of the post 1/4 century crisis theory;

Wayne - not quite at the eligible age yet;

Sylvia - you can have your cake and eat it too;

Vicky - a win at touch footy in honour of your birthday;

Justin - your girlfriend works down the road from me.

So all this cake-eating, birthday celebratory dinners and extra calories are not conducive to maintaining the pre-winter taut physique. Oh I remember the days when I could nearly lick water from my pubescent shoulder dimples (what's the bet google will have an advertisement about puberty on my blog now). The manifestation of winter became horribly evident the other day when, after work, I peeled off my pants and saw that my 80 denier stockings¹ had holes and ladders at my feet. I should explain that I have worn these stocking previously and thus they have been stretched sufficiently. This being the case, the ONLY reason these THICK 80 denier quality stockings could have ripped is because it could not contain the excess amount of fat I have stacked on. I point your attention to the following analogy: if you put in too much water in a balloon, what is the likely immediate effect? *whimper*
That's it, not eating meat pies at the snow this year. But how can you resist?

Saw the movie 'Mean Girls' the other night. Possibly the best movie I've seen this year. Portrayal of personalities that are clearly excessive was spot on, without being too cheesy or lame. I was not bored for a single second, and was laughing throughout the entire movie: "I shall call you caddy". Plus there was a seriousness about the movie that was endearing too. Then again, I do have an offbeat sense of humour but definitely 4 stars out of 5 in my books.

Managed to pull of a sick post move last night! Woohooo. Also managed to have snot fly out of my nose while attempting a second post move. The ball ending up hitting the side of the backboard. This is what happens when you're too concerned about appearances. Alternatively, this is what happens when you have 2 dibs in the pot. And no, I'm not naturally snotty - I have the flu.

The reason there have been no updates of late is because I wanted to leave the P.T photos up as long as humanly possible - looks like 11 days is the extent of human capabilities these days.

And quick question: do people read aloud in their heads when they read? I've always thought that was the wrong way to read when I was young. I hated the fact that reading was so noisy. It's meant to be a peaceful activity right? But how can it be peaceful when you're voicing all these words in your head? Do monks read out aloud?

________________________________
1 For the benefit of non-females, this means really really thick stockings.

What An Exciting Weekend!

My brush with fame continued on Saturday night when I got to meet and greet Penny Taylor! Woohoo! My encounter was captured quite succinctly on camera (thank you Wayne):


Here I am getting very nervous at the thought of being in the presence of PT. Armed with a program (which we rorted from a corporate box) and a pen (which turned out to be dodgy), I was contemplating what topics of conversation I could muster with PT (apart from Bunsen burners and the periodic table).

Shar & Wayne were completely flummoxed by my excitement & enthusiasm. They were patiently watching me go completely loco like a kid in a candy store. They eventually got fed up & kept saying "I want to go to KFC". But chicken can wait whereas celebrities cannot - although hot'n'spicy is only back for a limited time.

What a golden moment!
Started off a bit shaky with my dodgy pen not working. After laughing at my use of the word "dodgy", PT asked her mother for a pen (how embarrassing) - she even introduced me to her mother! After searching extensively in her hand bag, no pen was to be found so PT [continued below] ...

A fruiful night notwithstanding the fact that we were probably the only ones there that weren't under the age of 20. The Opals allowed some time for signing autographs. I left the stadium a very happy little cherub. And yes, everybody did get their KFC.


The only question that remains outstanding is whether our asses would look bigger or smaller than the Opals' in those body suits.

___________________________________________

[continued] ... had to ask this little boy to borrow his pen. Why couldn't I have just brought a pen that works? I asked her about Phoenix and she gave me a very detailed answer. She even told me that her team lost to L.A that night by 2. I decided to do some sucky-uppy by telling her that she would have made the difference. She was extremely nice and polite, and an absolute treat to meet. I wished her good luck with her future endeavours and although I could have possibly stayed and chatted longer, I was getting too tongue tied and felt I should leave before I made an even bigger fool of myself. Definitely the highlight of my night considering the actual game was pretty crap and the cheerleaders were OH SO BAAAAAAAD! They were a good source of (bad) entertainment though.

I AM FAMOUS!

OMG! I made it on to the most pre-eminent website of our times: WNBA.com
Check me our here! (See Question 2)
I think I've had my fair share of '15 minutes of fame' this year. Damn, I hope I am not wasting it on undistinguished feats. By my calculations, I still have a good 8 minutes left which hopefully will be worthy of Daily Telegraph/Today Tonight mentions.

I think I have something similar to Sjögren's Syndrome and/or Multiple Sclerosis. Why do I say this? No, not because I have Munchausen Disease ... but because I keep attacking my 2nd finger on both hands. I can't stop myself from cracking it! I crack it when I'm bored, when I'm stressed, when I'm reading, when I'm thinking, on the toilet, on the train ... everywhere, every time. I have these abnormally sized knuckles on my index fingers now and it's GROSS.

There has been a deafening silence of late which must be filled with verbose crap poste haste.

Apologies for the lack of updates, but since the move to the dreaded 'open-floor plan' (accessorised with low partitions) I've had to be more accountable for my time, work and internet activity (since the entire floor has a bird's eye view of my screen now).

Where to begin? Well I just returned from a 10 minute massage session with the workplace masseuse and OHMYGAWD! Luckily he had one of those chairs where you squish your face in the hole, or else I would have been moaning away like a silly git. You know the other day when we were in a video conference, I saw myself on screen and I was shocked to see just how BIG my head is vis-a-vis the rest of my body. It makes me look like a child! And the big cheeks just adds to the BIGNESS of my head. And someone actually called me "button" the other day!? At first I thought it's because he couldn't recall my name but could it be because of my appearance?

It's been a week of rude males (again).

Rule Male Incident No. 1
As we were reversing into a car parking space outside Eric/Fiona's apartment, this man decides to stand right in the middle of it, supposedly because he was minding it for his work colleague (who had yet to arrive but when he showed up was on the wrong side of the road). At first Wayne tried to have a chat with him. Becoming increasingly impatient and pissed off at the situation, I jumped out of the back seat and intervened with the objective of speeding up the 'piss of stupid male' process. As predicted, he had the usual "I'm allowed to stand wherever I want on the road"; "you're not allowed to reverse into me" arguments. Initially I tried the respectful technique of addressing him as 'sir' and utilising logic, but obviously a discussion based on logic is futile when dealing with stupid males. We ended up resorting to the following points: "does that mean you can stand in the middle of George St since you're allowed to stand wherever you want on the road"; "does that mean that anybody can camp out on the street to mind parking spots". After some painfully obvious statements, he finally gave up and walked away somewhat disgusted. To make the point a little more cogent, I decided to walk across the street and mind an empty spot for his work colleague. But alas, the gesture was not appreciated and his colleague drove right past.
I'm kinda amazed he took me seriously considering I was wearing my beanie and bball gear (i.e. loser pet store). Goes to show that justice prevails even when you look completely disrespectable.

Rule Male Incident No. 2
Last week's touch footy game was marred by the following remarks between myself and bastard No. 7:
[Me on defence]
No.7: *whinges* (because I accidentally tipped him too hard - so he reckons anyway)
Me: "Stop bitching and play the game"
[Next set of attack - me of offence]
Me: "Watch the tits" (as he whacked me across that region pretty damn hard)
No.7: "Stop bitching and play the game" (in a mocking tone)
Me: "Wait til you have tits, then you can come back and say that to me"
[Later on in the game - talking to the referee]
No.7: "Sir, I think the girl in yellow shorts (me) has a problem"

Rule Male Incident No. 3
Same touch footy game. Equally as rude male but fatter and slower.
Rude Male: "Stop touching my balls"

He was clearly delusional and probably took up the sport because it has the word "touch" in it. Ok, a bit harsh but how offensive and disgusting is his suggestion? Makes me want to puke. This same guy had the balls to apologise after the game - should have really kneed him at that point. What an idiot! I cry "chivalry"!!

On completely different subjects:

Felicity
On a major Felicity craze at the moment, which could explain my Felicity DVD watching long weekend. I forgot how much I love that show. Seriously need to purchase Season 3 and hopefully Season 4 will come out soon. This show really tugs at my heart strings and affects me in the most profound ways. Yeah lamo I know. And unlike shows such as Buffy & Alias, it is not completely devoid of reality - I mean, I could never really fall in love with a vampire ;p Ok, shall stop talking searchingly about this before I begin ranting on why they had to cancel the series - bastard males of network television!

Basketball
Opals playing in a pre-olympics tournament this weekend. Am very keen on watching them, especially in light of the fact that Penny Taylor will be in town - woohooo! Can talk to her about Bunsen burners again. Can you actually believe that we discussed about bunsen burners last time we met? What the? I have no idea how it came up. Perhaps I can bring up the periodic table this time and how helium looks all alone in the right hand corner. Checked out the Opals' draw in the Olympics - they have a good shot @ the Gold this year.

Nice Japanese Waitresses
I don't know why but I have an issue with nice Japanese waitresses, especially the one on York Street. Every time I go to that restaurant, I get extremely upset and end up leaving the eatery depressed and lamenting on why she is smiling all the time. Is she truly happy? Is it a facade? I felt so bad one time that I left a note for her with the bill thanking her profusely for the wonderful & kind service. She came out running after reading it and smiled her gentle smile. That made me even more upset. Settle petal - need a grip on reality I think ...

College
Some results are out and woohooo - I got a H.D for one subject! More results pending.

Miss Universe
Couldn't resist the temptation of commenting on the 2004 pageant after viewing some weeks ago. First, the Australian delegate was so much more substandard than first imagined. Not only was she the only one without a degree, but her walk resembled that of Demi Moore's in 'Strip Tease'. But then, the most beautiful of the lot (Miss Paraguay) had this to say when asked which female leader she'd like to interview and why: "I am here in Miss Universe pageant as a finalist." What's going on? Do beauty and brains have to be mutually exclusive these days? Surely not with shows like 'Extreme Make Over' and 'Queer Eye'.

Work
Development/career plan time - ackkkkkkkk. I wish myself mental health and a good dose of self esteem.

Okay long enough blog. Outtie ...

Let's aim for a bit of sporting and cultural flavour today.

I read in the paper this morning that Miss Australia won the Miss Universe pageant. Considering this site is a slight homage to the Miss Universe cause (only by title), I thought I'd give this near miraculous event some 'PR'. By the way, welcome to all those people who have done searches on "miss universe 2004" and unfortunately ended up here. Even though I am Australian (by citizenship) and share aspirations of donning my native traditional dress,¹ I am afraid you have been duped by either yahoo, google or ninemsn (this is why you shouldn't buy shares in Google).

What luxury is it for a girl to claim that she "never really wanted to be a beauty queen" and "joked about Miss Universe as she watched it on television with her mother" but nevertheless goes on to winning the darn thing with minimal effort. Though I must say that her description of winning the pageant really perplexes me: "It's like having a really bad car accident - you don't see it coming and it changes your life significantly". Somehow, I would have used a more up-beat analogy ... but hey, I'd be happy if someone sings me the "you are my star ... la la la la" song. AND do you notice how quickly the runner-up gets whisked away when they announce the winner. We're talking milli-seconds. Isn't that the ultimate feeling of being a loser - being carted away because you don't deserve the limelight. Cut up.


For those that are partial to the NBA, it looks like it will be Detroit and L.A in the finals. And now I would like to make a bold statement - Detroit will win the championship. Why? No mathematics or probability involved (because I don't understand the crap). Purely due to the fact that the WNBA finals played out in exactly the same fashion and Detroit ended up stealing the championship convincingly.

And speaking of basketball, our team had a really good win last night. I haven't enjoyed a game of basketball as I much as I did last night for a long time. Hmmm that was a bit of a nebulous sentence. Nevertheless, enjoyment came at a cost. I am now suffering from what is medically coined as "blunt trauma" (colloquially known as a cork thigh). I'm a bit concerned in light of the fact that a certain resident of Hornsby Hospital did NOT know what a cork was. What are they teaching in med school these days? Oh yeah ... and I am NOT A CHOKER ANYMORE! YAY! Actually managed to sink all 4 of my free throws in the dying seconds of our tied game. I am now officially in the same league as Michael Jordan *cough* Looks like I'll have to take up softball soon.

Will have to be moving building soon, into an open plan office. Oh the horror! Though the kitchen is much better and there is a vending machine. But still ... OPEN PLAN! No more dodgy conversations on the phone.

Managed to eat foil yesterday after insisting on warming Sylvia's leftovers (which was wrapped in foil) in the microwave. I knew that it was going to catch on fire, but somehow I managed to convince myself that the laws of chemistry was not going to apply to me and my food that day. The power of denial ... it's what Dr Phil makes a living out of. So it caught on fire and melted bits of my lunch box. That lunch box has been through so much. First, it was dumped (down the loo), and now it's been burnt (via microwave). It's almost like it's been in a long-term relationship. So I ended up crunching on bits of aluminium foil, but hey, at least the food was yummolicious. You're a great cook Sylvia!

And Mindy ... when you're sliding into first, and you feel something burst ...

___________________________
1 http://www.smh.com.au/photogallery/2004/06/02/1086058896254.html

So what do you say when someone barges in your office with "I'm sick, I've got the shingles and I just got my period".
Do what I did throughout chemistry class in High School, that is, *smile and nod*
And if it wasn't smiling and nodding, it was singing the Nigel Song, or sucking up to my Maths teacher whom I absolutely adored (no hanky panky though).

Anyway, found out yesterday that I could have gone to Singapore for 3 days to do a presentation that I prepared for the Spore Telco Code but nooooooo I had stupid College. I really must have bad karma, or extreme bad luck, but then again luck is only how you perceive things apparently. So in another words, I am pretty lucky since NOT going to S'pore means I won't put on weight and get that ugly yellow air-conditioning skin colour that is so predominant amongst people of that country (no offence). Instead I can put on weight here (since it is winter) and get that awful white chocolate dry skin colour. Woohoo!

Speaking of winter ... how cold has it been? I almost died of hypothermia last night during touch. It took a good hour to regain feeling in my fingers. Perhaps I will have to start being hard core and wear those Rocky fingerless gloves. But then that defeats the purpose of gloves huh? Go figure. Last night, there was this guy who FULLY blew his nose (twice on the right nostril, and once on the left nostril) on the field. Then he has the audacity to shake everybody's hands after such an act of human indecency. Was really torn as to whether I should shake his hand or not. I hope the sub-degree temperature of my hands manage to sedate the snot germs.

Seattle play Phoenix on Friday morning 2:30am! How exciting! Will have to hold a nigel party reminiscent of the nigel World Cup Soccer Party I held in 1999 (as soon as I find someone who will lend me their Optus/Foxtel).

Hello all

What a fortnight it has been! So much has happened that I hardly know where to start. I guess the best place to start is a snapshot of the most memorable moments (like the alliteration?). Then a drill down into a reflection of the vicissitudes of life ... without being too philosophical because I probably don't have the insight to be and wouldn't wanna come off as a try hard ;p So now that we have a structure, let's begin:

2 weeks of conditions simulated to resemble hell. Okay, perhaps a bit too harsh of an evaluation of College but all I know is that I am now sick (and without a voice), mentally and physically drained, emotionally scarred and dreading going back in August.
On the plus side, I think I passed (fingers crossed anyway), and have a better appreciation of the legal profession. Actually that statement should be qualified because some people there were absolute pr*cks! Example, on my last day of College, I had 2 hearings. My practice one earlier in the week was hunki dori so I wasn't expecting the horror that was awaiting me. Admittedly I was slightly apprehensive considering a few people had burst into tears after some friendly grilling from the pretend magistrate. Little was I to know that my problem would be my arrogant pr*ck opponent. He spent HALF AN HOUR objecting to my affidavit - bearing in mind that most people FINISHED their entire case in 20 minutes (we were there for 40 minutes). He objected to nearly every single paragraph in my affidavit. This behaviour would have been quasi-acceptable if his objections were valid, but here I was standing up, sitting down, standing up again, sitting down etc, trying to answer the impossible. What do you say to questions such as "Why are bananas yellow?". Okay, an analogy but you catch the drift. I was getting so pissed off! So afterwards I approached the pretend-magistrate and asked him whether I was the incompetent one, and thank gosh he told me that he too was getting pissed off at his "tenuous" objections.
Moral of the story is that some people just become completely evil when put in an adversarial situation. We weren't marked on our objections, but noooooooo, he still chose to be an arrogant pr*ck. He didn't win the case anyway so suck crap ... justice was on my side - muahahahhahahaa

Watch out for yours truly in the 2005 College pamphlet. Too bad I looked like crap. I hope that do some airbrushing on me.

Realisation 1: I am terrible in stressful/pressure situations. Realisation 2: I must work on public speaking. Realisation 3: I have a speech impediment when I get nervous, "may it prease the clort" (i.e. may it please the court). Realisation 4: Classical music saved me during the fortnight ... thank you ABC FM. Realisation 5: Computers ALWAYS break down at the MOST inopportune times (thanks heaps Gregan ... again).

Spent Saturday revisiting childhood games. A few of us were at Hyde Park and it was exactly what I needed after a tough fortnight. So there we were, a bunch of 20ish year olds playing brandings and all sorts of games involving tennis balls. We must have looked like idiots! Especially when we were playing that 'spin 10 times around on 1 spot and 1st person to grab the tennis can wins' game. Oh my gawd ... I was in TEARS watching Sharlene do it. I'm talking about tears streaming down my fat cheeks laughter. Haven't laughed that long in ages!
Anyway, went for a run around Hyde Park and stopped off @ St Marys because I had never been in there before. It's an absolutely amazing place. Very majestic! Then it was on to CRAB for Bec's bday. Hope you had enough claw to last you the rest of the year Bex :)

Today I heard some bad news from a friend. Okay let's cut to the chase, Duane will be leaving our fair shores in a matter of weeks. Not such great news to woken up to. Funny how things can happen so suddenly but I guess this is where my reflection of vicissitudes bit comes in. The word 'vicissitudes' always reminds me of the 'business cycle' in macroeconomics (ooo Keynesian Theory), but I digress.

I guess it sucks seeing a door shut in front of your face, but as that lovely bell hop says to Julia Roberts in "My Best Friend's Wedding" (excellent movie that) - "When one door shuts, another door always opens". So I guess that's the angle that you have to approach the business cycle. When you are in the lower region of the business cycle, you should take comfort in the fact that the upper region is around the corner. Or even better, let's look at the Butterfly Theory: "The Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas". Drawing from that, I guess that means for you Duane that you will be creating chaos in Singapore! :) So don't be too dejected, you still own the best interpretation of a pink diamond ring ;p

So it's back to work for me and since the most of the group in my next rotation have been retrenched, it should be interesting times ahead. Plus the fact that Samantha Jones has shingles does not help, considering I haven't had the pox yet.


PS: Easy kill, Cannon Fodder ;p

Stupidity just doesn't cut it, at the best of times. And at the worse of times, it is just unequivocally (har reminds me of Dawson's Creek) abominable.

Failing to look at the prescribed timetable, I naturally assumed that my 100% trust and accounting exam begins at 9am. This meant that I got up at 6:30am and rocked in St Leonards by 8:30am. This is until I realised that nobody bothered to turn up for the exam (bargain). But really, the reality is that it actually starts at 10am. So my caffeine adrenaline has now gone to waste, and I have had the past hour to stress about how little I know. At least I got to do my morning dump (ok too much information). Very very angry and annoyed at the moment.

Anyway, should go prep myself for the impending doom.

PS: Happy bday Bex for yesterday *hugs* - hope you enjoyed the non x-rated version of de la guarde.

Day 3 of College On Site coincides with Day 3 of Insomnia and general mental instability.

Sleeping has been a mental battle since Sunday night - a contradiction really - expending effort to get some winks.
College has been a bastard, I so wish with all my might that I don't have to be here. Just went through a mock trust and office accounting exam and I lost it after page 3. Another contradiction as I have a major in accounting. I have always maintained that accounting is the crappiest subject in the whole wide world. I don't get this man-made crap and 3 years of studying it has not provided any sort of enlightenment or appreciation of it.

Am suffering from extreme levels of stress and hoping that I will be able to get a good night of rest sometime in the near future. The coughing fits at night are not helping with my cause. 20 minutes of spewing my guts out and what does my mother do? Come in my room with ONE fisherman's friend! Before I leave you with this sad account of my life, can I just share with everybody what I found extremely funny on Saturday night. I was watching "Indecent Proposal" (no that's not the funny bit) and there was a scene in the movie that went like this:

*Demi Moore is teaching a citizenship class*
Demi Moore: Where do you come from?
Foreigner: Kuba
Demi Moore: OK, now say that in American like this ... cuba.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? The audacity! The movie really is an indecent proposal if they think they can get away with that.

On other news, welcome to the 9-5 world Mindy, and congratulations to all those buff paddlers who will escape potential terrorist threats in Athens but nevertheless still get the glory and privilege of representing their country in China.

Quick update:

Day 1 of College On Site and it didn't get off to a very good start. Was on the train (stupid City Rail) for 1hr 10mins (standing for 1 hour), and staggered late into the room with messy hair, bags/folders everywhere, coffee in one hand threatening to spill, escargot in another threatening to soak through the paper bag, and mega ching-chong eyes. And if that didn't win me any friends, I'm sure splurting phlegm in everybody's direction will do the trick.

Anyway, it's been pretty intense. I can't wait til 4:30pm rolls around so I can go into work and print out more stuff for tomorrow's edition of College On Site.

Qantas Lounge is Cool! and I am sick!

Here is my week in review - pictorially



Picture 1 - (Last Friday)
A try hard black & white shot of Hyde Park en route to Sydney Uni law library. Although the usyd library has the priviledge of being located in close proximity to the judicial end of town, I must say that I found it a bit disappointing. Oh yeah, someone was getting married in a blue wedding dress that day - what was she thinking?!? I think they were Canterbury supporters in light of the blue and white theme, and the ethnic background (I know ... generalisation).

Picture 2 - (Last Sunday)
Mother's Day dinner. Spent a considerable amount of time learning how to hold my chopsticks properly. How can I label myself an Asian if I insist on 'crossing' my chopsticks. It's so shameful! But the stomach vetoed the shame when the food was disappearing and I was still trying to hold those sticks in a parallel fashion. It's painful to watch people dig at the fish whilst you are paralysed in the non-parallel chopstick mode! I look like a sped in that photo, either that or I look like I have braces.

Picture 3 - (Wednesday)
Mindy's graduation. Nice affair with an impassioned speech by the lady who is representing Australia @ the Robo-Dog Soccer World Cup. Funny how all the Asians line up at the food table, just like it was a buffet. At least you didn't have to use chopsticks in the correct parallel manner, or else I would have missed out.

Picture 4 - (Wednesday to Thursday)
Picture of the Novotel @ St Kilda.
I had a very fulfilling coupla days in Melbourne - bar for the fact that I am now stricken with the flu. This is disastrous in light of the fact that I have a fortnight's worth of exams coming up. Who am I kiddin' ... it would be disastrous regardless. Ack! Feeling all delirious and non-mentally stable.

So yeah, I had lots of fun this trip, largely due to the following:

Samantha Jones
Even though I'm pretty damn sure she was the disease carrier, she is one of the most left-field characters I have ever encountered in my life. She doesn't conform to any notions of normal or professional, and neither does she give a damn about that. She talks about sex incessantly, draws pictures of 'mushroom patches' (think phallic because she does), makes passes at any eligible guy between 17-60 (she was ACTUALLY flirting with one of our N.Z colleagues who was no doubt married), asks my manager whether he got some on his wife's birthday, flashes her belly button to get an upgrade to business class, claims Morticia Adams as her role model (because she is the perfect 'corporate' wife and has her every whim attended to by Gomez), makes bras out of tissue/napkins, misses out on work christmas dinner because she has to get some ... oh the list goes on and on. I really think that a lot of the men in this office are completely flummoxed by her and just don't know how to handle her. All I can say is that I am never sitting next to her for an extended period of time because she is TOO distracting. I should mention that she is equally as intelligent and capable as well as crass and shocking.

My Restaurant Rules
As mentioned in the comments, I was actually in the same lift as Simon (the Brisbane guy from My Restaurant Rules). And to answer your hard hitting questions Rebecca:
* He looks far better in real life - he is SOOOOO blonde!
* Yes I think he was visiting the Melb restaurant - we were at a pub literally 10m away.
* Gobsmacked because I am a sucker for any celeb ranging from A to Z class.
* I was paralysed in the lift for at least 3 seconds too long - my work colleague was motioning me to get out but I was too awestruck to move. I must have looked like such an idiot. Reminds me of the time I met Penny Taylor - so exciting!
And Chad - we were across the road from Toppolina's but didn't get a chance to go in for a bite ... maybe next time.

Qantas Lounge
How cool is the Qantas Lounge? Answer: very cool! Albeit there seems to be more people in the lounge compared to the departure Lobby (phenomena reminiscent of the MBA conundrum - i.e. the more ppl the less prestigious it seems). Nevertheless, you still get FREEEEEEEE wine, beer, soft drinks, coffee/tea, food (buffet style), massages, showers, wireless, magazines, TV. Although I was too scared to scam a free massage because they may have figured out that I'm a phoney!

Small fish in Big Pond (no intended reference to Telstra)
Sometimes it's good to be out of your element, other times it's just completely overwhelming. I realised the following over the past 2 days: I am hopelessly knowledge/skills deficient; no matter how hard you try and be mature, people just don't respect you when you are the youngest in the mob; big boys club is alive and kicking in corporations; presentation/public speaking skills is the key to providing that extra edge. So what do you do when faced with all that AND having to introduce yourself to the room - rely on self deprecating comments of course, specifically: "My name is blah blah and I started last October. I guess you could call me the pleb of the group". At least I got a chuckle.

PS: New photos added - more to come due to FTP suckage on the part of fotopic.
PPS: Anyone think of a nice getup to hold a 21st - please leave suggestions in comments. You may even get an invite ... though there is probably a disclaimer to that offer.

News Flash: Short break extending to a possible lengthy time-out from blogging ...

Heading down to Melbourne tomorrow for a "planning conference" after Mindy's graduation (congrats Mindy) @ UTS. Shall be back on Thursday but cannot promise updates due to College exams/assessments for the next fortnight.

Well the realities of working in the corporate world finally hit home today after 1/8 of our department was made redundant. I guess you have to go through atrocities like this once in your career. It has made uncertain times even more uncertain, and really hammers home the fickleness of the business world. Something else it really highlights is the value of education and a wide ranging experience, because it seems that only those with limited expertise were made redundant. I should thank my parents for making me endure secondary/tertiary education. Anyway, it's all been too daunting and I am feeling sufficiently lifeless. I am lucky I have an awesome manager that is looking out for me, but it goes to show that nothing is ever engraved in stone.

Ack my brain is all mushy and confused. I shall leave you with the wise words of Steve Martin in "The Man with Two Brains" (excellent movie):

"Point Birds"
O pointy birds, o pointy pointy,
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

Wish me luck ...

News Flash: New Photos Posted - Click on "My Photos" in Side Nav Bar


Just another Manic Monday - right on Bangles!
To celebrate the start of another working week, here is a picture of my office. See the artwork on the walls - NOT MY CHOICE! Perhaps I will bring in my 2 Grant Hill posters and blue-tack them up. I'm sure that will go down well. It will match nicely with the incoming tackarama bball ring and my Golden State Warriors mini basketball (thanks Michelle).

Hmmm, not particularly in the mood to divulge about my weekend today - purely because it was a crappy shit weekend. Intentions to study for exams (which are looming ominously) were thwarted, but only by assignment deadlines. What kind of existence is this? Makes you want to pull your hair out really - but maybe only the grey ones.


I have an insight as to WHY I have recurring 'teeth falling out and choking on them' dreams. One interpretation is that teeth decaying/falling out symbolises the death of childhood/innocence (cf. milk teeth) and the onset of responsibility/accountability/quarter-life century crisis. Though I am not too sure what the 'choking' bit is an allegory for - perhaps that I don't chew my food properly, which is entirely true. Ahhh ... the vicissitudes of life, it's bumming me out at the moment.

Anyway, watched a few movies on the weekend starting with:

Harvey Crumpet (on recommendation by Dr Yan Dan Goh)
I found it thoroughly entertaining and extremely humorous. 40 minutes worth of dry humour involving subject matters that are not entirely savoury but still manages to end on a positive note.

Love Actually
I have a violent objection to this movie. In fact, it borders on being an insult to my intelligence. For a movie purportedly about "love", it failed miserably to deal with the subject matter. They kinda just figured they could chuck a whole bunch of storylines together, not bothering to develop ANY of it and just brand it as a generic LOVE story to lure the masses in. Pssshhhhh. What's even worse is that they failed to even take care of the simple things like when that guy visits Keira Knightley's character with the cardboard messages, what if Keira's husband had answered the doorbell?? What would happen then?? Only saving grace was DARCY!

Intolerable Cruelty
I loved the witty banter between George Clooney (he's handsome!) and Catherine Zeta Jones (she's beautiful!) - it was refreshing. And with character names like Rex Rexroth and Heinz the Baron Krauss von Espy - you really can't go wrong.

Honey
Oh the dodgy homey talk was sooooo lame: "Your flava is HOT" *spew spew* Only saving grace were the bball references namely: inclusion of a cross-over dance move; Jessica Alba dating a baller; getting inspiration from basketball. Even all that was slightly lame too. At least she looked hot in it.

Anyway, shall end here but before I go, I was told by our office version of Samantha Jones to "be a brazen hussy". Anything for professional advancement I say!

Alright let's get the blogging out of the system so I can get down to business.

Well it's been a cleansing week. Managed to clear everything out of my in-tray and finally rotate to my next group with no loose ends (and those loose ends were really starting to fray). For those that are innately cat-like, I will spare you the impending curiosity-induced death by noting that my next rotation will be with the 'technical regulation' group (and yes I will be the main source of estrogen).

It's been a fiery morning, as reflected in the comments left on my previous blog. Notwithstanding the fact that Terence Koo BARRED me this morning (someone get me Dr Phil), today has gotten off to a decent start.

Updates since Wednesday:
Tried studying last night as I realised that exams are coming up in 2 weeks! (eeeeek!). But as luck may have it, the College site was down - damn I so wanted to study. The only time I have sat down to study, and the forces of nature conspired to work against me. Oh well, I will have to use the 'act of God' excuse on my 'special consideration' application.
So instead of studying, I ended up watching on my compy episode 7, 8 and 9 of the current season of Alias (while trying to look up on the Internet whether Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan are still going out ... jury is still out on that one). Climbed into bed at 1am after promising myself I would sleep early - that's just sad when you lie to yourself.

We won basketball on Wednesday, albeit it was against a team called "The Fourty-Somethings". You almost feel like you shouldn't be playing hard since it could be your mother that you are elbowing/kneeing. Apparently one of them was breast-feeding on the sidelines, then promptly sub'd herself back on after tucking her boobies back into her sports bra. What is this? My restaurant rules?

Went to yum cha @ Market City yesterday. Why is it that they fail to mention all the 'good stuff' like tripe and scallop dumplings when they are squawking out all the other 'common' dishes? And their demeanour is so scary that you are afraid to ask what else they have in their little trolley. Apparently yum cha trolley pushers now have to sit a pseudo-driver's test to be an eligible trolley-pusher (this is what Shar tells me). Failure rate will no doubt be very high considering all the candidates are Asian ;p (ooo I'm not being very P.C today)

WNBA season is about to start *so excited* Penny Taylor has been drafted to Phoenix along with the first draft rookie Diana Taurasi. Looks like I will be supporting Phoenix & Seattle this year, and hoping yet again for the downfall of the 'Bulldogs' of the WNBA: LA Sparks.

I must say that herein our office exists a real life version of Samantha Jones (Sex in the City). Oh the stories I have about her are absolutely fantastic. Shall save these for another day ...

News Flash: YAY! Back on Blogger!

Hello Blog-ders! (as in Blog Readers)

I realise that I failed to meet the self imposed 3rd May blog-target, but it's been a case of 'I am so busy I could be a bee' (obviously not a Queen-Bee though ... *sigh*).

Where do I begin (from the very beginning insists Julie Andrews).
Well I was down in Melbourne last week for 3 days, and it looks like I will be back there next week (which means I will miss out on basketball AGAIN! *sob*). Melbourne is a very classy city. Just walking through the CBD you realise a few things, namely: buildings are FAR nicer, transport system is much more efficient (but then you can't possibly imagine anything worse than City Rail ... don't get me started!), people are much better dressed, people seem to be better looking (though quite possibly an illusion effected by the better dress-sense), there are more inter-racial couples, it's a fantastic place to shop! Moreover, you realise the inherent EVILNESS of big coffee chains such as Starbucks and Gloria Jeans (sorry Joe). Melbourne is littered with wonderful cafes and bars. You can't walk 3 steps without bumping into one. Demonic things such as Starbucks really take away the personality and character that you find in these cafes/bars - and each one is so different. Plus the coffee is so much cheaper than the sub-standard crap you get @ Starbucks (except when you're the coffee-master Joe of course).

Anyway, I was actually half-entertaining the thought of migrating to Melbourne until I realised that I enjoy the bogan-ness of Sydney too. Walking down the streets of Melbourne with a pair of tracky-dacks would probably be a violation of all sorts of standards, whereas I would be quasi-comfortable sporting my trackies down George St (maybe).
There were a few horror stories during my stay. First I got lock INSIDE my hotel room. And what made it even more dire was that I was running late for a bus. Had to ring up concierge TWICE and once someone came to rescue me, I didn't even have time to check out whether he was cute ;p Fully bolted through the CBD - thank gosh it was cold or else I would have had sweat patches all over my clothes. Second, I went gambling alone - and yes Fiona didn't fail to remind me the sadness of that sight. Third, I was the only one that turned up in 'Sydney casual gear'. Obviously Melbournites have a different standard of 'casual', and that involve something more than jeans and an abecrombie top!

Moving on, work has been hectic lately. Been average 3.5 hrs sleep for the past couple of days, and coupled with deadlines for College assignments ... well it's a perfect formula for nose bleeds. My nose began bleeding in bed 2 nights ago and you know, it is really the acme of laziness/tiredness when you decide that you're going to swallow your blood rather than the expend energy to grab a tissue.

I have been working on a presentation which my manager was due to give to a bunch of masters students. It becomes a whole different ball game when your work is to be displayed and critiqued publicly on transparencies - and the worst bit is that I had to account for myself by being at this presentation last night. Anyway 52 transparencies later, and with all my reputation, dignity and self worth at stake, what should happen??! The FIRST SLIDE HAD AN ERROR! For the love of everything sacred! WHY WHY WHY! And on the FIRST SLIDE?!? Could not have been a worse start! I had repeated the word "estimated" twice - admittedly one was in parenthesis, and the other wasn't. But when it's magnified times 1000 on a transparency, there was no saving to be done. Oh the shame and horror! So BAD!!!!! This is something you only read about! Gradually I began to sink lower into my chair until the next whammy - someone decided to question of my slides. Feeling far too incompetent to verbalise anything, I decided to let my manager handle the situation. And that folks is how to manage to appear completely incapable in front of your superior. Excellent work! *sigh*

Should mention that we had our end of season party for dragon boat on Saturday. All I have to say is that I am henceforth vindicated of my shameful Bar Ace incident. Stepping in to take my place is Sharlene Wong, whom although spewed somewhat gracefully, still managed to hurl in excess of 7 times throughout the night. Twas a good night - movie was great, music was good and company was happy.

I realised something earlier today. If you track through all the truly 'strong' female characters that have appeared on the movie screen, their motivation stems from the love they had for their children - think Ripley and Newt (Aliens), think Sarah and John Connor (T2), think Black Mumba/The Bride and her child (Kill Bill). So my point is that perhaps I will never be 'strong' because I don't desire to have kids? Speaking of which, didn't you love the way Quentin Tarantino managed to squeeze in 10 minutes all the different stages of grief in that coffin scene. And they were visually so succinct and distinguishable: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I guess moving past that last hurdle was the true sign of Black Mumba's strength. Because if it was me, I would probably reach the acceptance stage but just kinda be content with lying in the coffin thinking of the best way to breathe my last gulp of air - quite possibly because I don't have a child you see ;p

Anyway, it has been a long diatribe so I shall stop here. Happy birthday to Gregan for last Wednesday! More photos to come soon so stay tuned.

News Flash: Links updated including my brand spanking new online photo gallery - please see links on the right

Okay, this is going to be a shortass entry as I have a 6:00am flight to catch tomorrow, which means I have to leave the house @ 4:30am, which means I need to go to bed soon.

Long weekend came and went, and here is what I have to show for it:

bloated abdomen from intoxicatingly potent fondue on Friday night;

corked thighs from playing ball on Saturday and Monday;

blisters on thumb and feet from playing golf on Sunday and Monday;

deteriorating eyesight from staring @ the computer screen with my contacts on whilst at Clinton's house.

The following realisation dawned upon me over the long weekend:
I really do suck @ golf. I don't really know why I put myself through 18 holes of self-esteem torture. I think it is about time I faced the facts and hang my clubs up indefinitely. Golf is possibly the most evil sport I have encountered. It does undesirable , and often health-damaging things to your mind. The game of golf, which had hitherto been challenging, is now but a chore and nearly considered a waste of 4 hours.

Oh well, shall not lament on things one was destined never to be competent at. Shall stick to other exploits such as whinging, the sims and guilt trips (apparently).

It pains me to inform everybody that there will be no updates until the forthcoming week, i.e. 3rd May.
Have a great week!

Have been ultra busy busy. Life is just stressful when you're busy busy!
There's been some kafuffles about my trip to Melbourne on Tuesday. Originally was meant to come back Wednesday (and make it to my first basketball game), but they have gently coerced me to stay an extra night until Thursday. Far be it for the person at the lowest level of the food chain to ignore such gentle coercion. Reason for the extended stay is to meet my next immediate manager and the team, who are all based in Melbourne. So if anbody feels like visiting Melbourne for a coupla days, gimme a call. Free acommodation!
Anyway, I am on a 6am flight outta Sydney (and I thought 8:05am was bad! see below). Looks like it's going to be an extra long weekend for me. Though lots to complete before then, including studying - thrills of the nation!

Managed to sign up to Gmail today. It offers 1000MB! That's major! I feel so special because I now have: marissa.wong@gmail.com in my grubby big-palmed hands!

Not much to banter about today. Got in a hot tub with a guy last night (well sim-marissa did anyway) ... and bought a basketball hoop for sim-marissa to play with. I think she's pretty happy, although she needs to hold some kinda of art exhibition and I have no idea how to go about it. And I'm a bit offended that they automatically assume that all Virgos are neat. Because of this gross (mis)generalisation, I spend half my energy/time cleaning - unwillingly might I add. I swear Virgo is the worse star sign EVER. I am supposedly meant to be anal and clean. Who would choose adjectives like those to describe oneself? I'd rather be passionate and driven or something to that effect. Oh well, I don't believe it star signs so I shall digress.

Stories of the day:
An old lady was trying to peel off the cling-wrap from her delivered newspaper on the train this morning. Her hands were so frail that she was having trouble undoing it. In fact, her veins on her hands were gradually getting more and more bulbous. Such a simple task turns into an absolute nightmare. I was contemplating ripping the stupid thing off for her, but I was probably getting more angry than she was. Maybe you have more patience as you mature to make up for the bulbous veins?

I gave the Coles lady a $20 to pay for a $1.80 lemon ice tea and she didn't yell at me or give me a death stare! I was so happy! I shall refer her name to City Rail - and she would win the best employee of the decade fo shiz!

I got into work at the most ungodly hour: 8:05am, i.e. I was sitting @ my desk and ready to blog at 5 minutes past 8. This may be no big feat for most, but for someone that sleeps in til 3pm if given the chance to, and cleansed of any anti-sleep mechanisms (e.g. clock/need to work) - this is a monumental effort. Alright I'm going to get my blog over and done with so I can do some real work for the rest of the day.

Last night we had our first touch footy match for the winter season. Damn! I was feeling the cold already. I was wearing 3 layers and STILL shivering - and apparently it wasn't even THAT cold last night. Definitely cold-adverse which is ironic because I look like an Inuit. In fact, I have resorted to whipping out the good 'ol spencer this morning. Anyway ... yet again I managed to get into a kafuffle with one of the guys from the opposition. I think last night was the angriest I have ever allowed myself to become in a game. It was definitely the only emotional outburst I've ever succumbed to, but for the very unfortunate incident @ Bankstown basketball courts which resulted in an unaligned jaw. So what happened? Well I went down for a dump and usually what happens is that you try and push off on your defender to recover and get back into play. Instead of letting me do so, this MALE decides to hold on to me with quite a bit of force for 5 seconds too long. Extremely offended by this unsportsmanlike behaviour, I attempted to pull his arm so he would let go of my shirt. Before too long we were caught up in a tangle on the grass, with me squirming around getting more irritated by the second. Finally I got up and fully yelled out (albeit in the girliest voice ever *duh*) "you don't have to fucking pull me!!!!!" and proceeded to push him back down to the ground with every inch of muscle I had. He looked pretty damn stunned and probably would have hit me if I wasn't of the opposite sex. There is a certain sense of power and satisfaction when you are standing over a fallen man, especially after you've pushed him to the ground. Anyway, this all happened in back play (which is rather unfortunate), so only Sharlene (who was on the sidelines) and I think Alan witnessed it. Apparently Shar was on her way to defend me - with those guns, I'm sure she would have taken him out EASILY :D This MALE apologised afterwards, but it's a case of too little too late. It should have never happened and he should be very ashamed and banished from this earth. In fact, he should join the Canterbury Bulldogs - he would fit right in!

So the unfortunate incidents involving Marissa and sport continues. I should really keep a tally.

News Flash: Photos from Gold Coast Posted ...

... please scroll down for Monday's dose of visual stimulation (thank you Shar for the photos).
Don't photos spruce up a dull page? Speaking of which: Rebecca, you cannot possibly deny us the pleasure of daily RC updates! Commenting system/photos/design/images/ etc are all aethestic luxuries we can do without, but dry wit and stumpy remarks ... do you want me to die? Okay maybe a bit hyperbolic but you get the drift.

Well the weekend that breezed passed was relatively active for me - just as well because I just realised this morning that I ate creamy/fatty cake on 4 out of the 7 days last week! ugh! Hmmm just had a fantastic idea - Kaya & Peanut Butter Cake for my birthday! PLUS I am beginning to notice the early signs of a hideous beer gut. (OshKoshB)GOSH! One of the side effects of owning an infantile beer gut is the feeling of your boobs touching your stomach when you are sitting. But of course it's not my boobs (because mine ain't that big) ... it is in fact the rolls on my infantile beer gut. Oh this is grossing me out so I shall stop forthwith!

Okay so Friday night a bunch of us were @ the Opera Bar for Duane's bday/graduation drinks. I was very happy because they had my fave beer on tap.
Saturday was a day out @ Centennial Park where we consumed snags, meat and more meat courtesy of the culinary expertise of Mr Kit Chan. We then played a bit of soccer (I am so heavy on my feet ... was definitely running like a Wally especially with those long bball shorts), volleyball and cycled around the park. It's funny because Bec, Shar and myself all turned up in bball shorts. People must think that we are tryhard ballers ... but there's no shame in that ;p I must mention that I scored an above-average 'bend it like Beckham' corner kick goal. Lots of witnesses to corroborate my claim!
After a bit of a run-around, we proceeded to head to Le Chaddy's house for his bday celebrations. Food is always in abundance @ his house, not to mention TASTY! YUM YUM YUM! Sang karaoke for most of the night. Thought I was a competent vocalist when I scored 97 singing "more than words" but bloody Sharlene scored 99 singing "my heart will go on"! Unbelievable because of the following reasons: it's the crappiest song ever; Celine Dion is the 2nd crappiest singer after Michael Bolton; if you've heard Sharlene sing ... well you would have a good hearty laugh :) hehehehehe. Anyways, it was a good night, topped off with an appreciative send-off ;p
Sunday was Mandy's bday celebrations @ Liberty Grove which reminded me of a cool Sim-Community! We ate more snags, meat and meat, played a bit of bball and softball. I've forgotten how much I used to love playing softball. The feel of nice sweaty mits in your hand and sliding to 1st base. Afterwards, a few of us went over to Cripple-Clinton's to help out with some editing. It's looking very good but for the lack of time problem.

So there's a quick synopsis of my weekend. Isn't it weird how sometimes you can be soooo busy and yet remained unsatisfied?
This week marks the start of touch football and the Anzac long weekend, after which I will be heading down to Melbourne for a training course. And ooo ooo Kill Bill II comes out this week!

Okay, it is with much trepidation that I upload the following file containing the footage of my "borocca test" where the aim was to hold a mouthful of borocca and water without allowing any of it fizzling out. So to appease my subconscious, I have decided to take it down at the end of this week - so if you miss out, you MISS OUT! Watch out for Fiona's and Sharlene's footage (after I get permission) in the coming days.
Gimme a look. Probably a good idea to "save target as" in this instance and turn up the volume. Disclaimer: I was only slighly hurt in the shooting of this video. Warning: the file is quite big and may be a bit disturbing.

Sad Hurty!

I am addicted to The Sims! Stayed up til 1:30am playing it last night ... not good.
The number of times I stood in front of the mirror to practice my "charisma", and worked out on my $500 bench press machine is harrowing. It's like tomagotchi gone crazy!!! I now understand why Doctor Evil was so protective over Mini-Me. My sim HAS to succeed so I can live vicariously through it - har!

The joys of a shortened working week. Isn't April fantastic? About one more week before I have to hit the books again. And WOOHOOO, we are playing KGV next competition again. Am going to make my sim into a world famous basketball player that can dance like Britney Spears, giggle like Julia Gulia, kick ass like Jennifer Garner and articulate like Felicity (but a bit better).

Must catch train now ... bye!

Stating the Obvious Flash: I am back!

Hello World!
How have you all survived without the daily, sometimes triweekly Marissaisms? I dare to imagine that most have not even realised the departure of the fat-headed one. In fact, it was probably a welcomed break from all the Marissa-whinging. Ooo how many times can I fit Marissa in this paragraph? Ok enough luvoness.

Well this morning's entirety has been spent trying to exterminate and banish a crappy virus (or an ad trojan as Gregan technically refers to it as ... sif there is a difference?) from my P.C. OhMyGosh! The frustration! Compounding this frustration is the fact that our I.T department is just bloody hopeless. The camel's penis¹ I was talking to last night spent 30 minutes only to come to the conclusion that I needed to run a virus scan! That's 30 minutes worth of whinging I missed out on! Surprise surprise the virus scan did jack shit and APU² I had to ring my PITM³ - Gregan. Gregan, if you are reading this - you are an untapped genius! Thanks a trojanillion - har!

So the question remains, how did I inflict my P.C with such evilness? I suspect it was when I was looking up cheats for The Sims Bustin' Out. I think I am addicted to that game. I have downloaded and printed out pages worth of cheats & walkthrus. I am determined for my sims to have kids by the end of the week.

So let's recap last week shall we?

As some may know, I was in Queensland for the majority of last week. We stayed opposite Kirra Beach which is near Coolangatta. Kirra Beach is a sight to be seen - one of the most beautiful beaches I have encountered. The waves are perfect, the water was so warm, the sand was soft, crowd was minimal to none, and the beach itself is quite long. I had a ripper of a time, which makes the reality of work that much harder to deal with. Amongst the activities were:

Golf @ Brookwater & Royal Pines Resort
The former is designed by Greg Norman and the latter is the home of the Australian Ladies Masters - company I should really not be associated with. Nevertheless, managed to score a birdie somewhere in the 38 holes but ultimately was hammered by Sharlene and lost the stroke play competition⁴. Oh the shame! Monkey trophy slips through fingers again. But apparently it is being turned into the wooden spoon prize soon so I guess it's got my name written all over it now. Highlights were the GPRS system and the eski full of ice for your drinks on the golf carts ... and oh yeah my 8 iron shot on the par 3 - SO SWEET!



Movie World
All I can say is "Doo the Ride"! The Scooby Doo Ride was fantastic, possibly better than the Lethal Weapon Ride⁵. All the big fluffy cartoon characters were being mauled by crappy little kids, leaving no room for the older generation. It's not fair really ... I didn't get a chance to be felt up by Porky Pig as was the case the last time I visited Movie World. Found out the reason why people feel nauseous after rides is because of calcium deposits in their head.⁶ Highlight was trying to pull sped faces every time we go pass the camera on the rides. There were some CLASSIC shots!



Jupiters Casino
After a torrid affair with the buffet (such a love/hate relationship) which left everybody feeling ill and nauseous (not due to the calcium build-up), we hit the casino to try and redeem the $$ we spent on golf. After a promising start (I think everybody was up at least $20), we all ended up losing money. Though I think I faired out quite well. I lost $100 on blackjack but made back $90 on the pokies with only a 20cent bet!

Big 2 and Beer
We consumed a lot of bottles of alcohol by the end of our trip, though I think Shar must have drunk half of it with the way she was swigging her beer. Had Big 2 tournaments every night and Ultimate Loser was either Fiona or Shar (the former by virtue of the fact that she really sux at the 5-10 game). Highlight was the CLASSIC borocca footage - will have to post some of them online - where you have to hold a mouthful of borocca + water without letting it dribble out. Very hard when everybody around you is cracking up.



Big Pineapple, Nostalgia Town
Funny how there aren't any pineapple products at the Big Pineapple. The business development person there should really look into that! Nostalgia Town⁷ was very gay! So much gayer than the Leylon Brothers if you've ever been there.



Miscellaneous
New bikini! New boardies! New wet suit top! 5% fatter! and 15% tanner!
New found annoyance for China-women in white jump suits with undies that are clearly visible, who don't shut up nor sit down during flights.

Miscellaneous Since Trip

Attacked by City Rail worker again (albeit not BITCH lady) for using a $20 note to pay for a $2.20 ticket. Is my money non-Australia money or something? I seriously start of the day with such low self-esteem because of these people.

Lost mixed bball finals last night, was yet again was bump and grinded upon - eeeeeeackkkkkk!

Lost H.O.R.S.E to Mindy of all people! We are officially living in an alternative universe!

Happy Birthday
Duane (13th April)
Mandy (15th April)
Le Chaddy (16th April)

__________________________________

1. Dude
2. As Per Usual
3. Personal I.T Man
4. Fiona and me vs. Sharlene and Wayne
5. which we sat on 3 times.
6. Refer to Dr Y.D. Goh.
7. or Nostaltragic Town as I call it.