Friday, June 12, 2009

Flavour of Asia

It was disappointing times for the Asian race this morning. 3 oriental culprits all displaying very poor judgement when it comes to train etiquette.

Asian 1 (A1) - Guilty of unacceptable noise pollution when speaking extremely loudly into his mobile phone. Noise pollution intensified when the battery on his mobile phone started fading, which led to A1 adopting the strategy of yelling into his handset, as if the handset was a voice-powered piece of equipment. Quarter way through the journey, the entire carriage knew all about his dirty little secret - he owed the guy on the other end of the phone $5000.

Asian 2 (A2) - Guilty of blaring music emitting from his headphones. Nobody wants to hear TI or similar rubbish that early in the morning.

Asian 3 (A3) - Guilty of playing a keyboard intensive game with the keypad tone at max level. Unbelievably annoying, especially since A3 was sitting beside me.

For all the deficiencies in train etiquette, we certainly make it up in other areas e.g. Asian Poses - must click on website, it is hilarious. I think I was born for the "Puffy Cheeks" pose. It requires no additional effort on my part so I think might give it a go in my next photo opportunity. The website recommends puffy cheeks in addition to other violent poses like "bang or claws, since it adds to the ferocity of the pose". Such ingenuity!

My other favourite is pose #24, otherwise know as the "Nyan Nyan" pose, which is meant to simulate the noise a cat makes. I do like the option of wearing "cat ears and a collar with a bell on it, if you want to make sure no one misinterprets this pose."

Other practical suggestions/warnings include:
  • for the Bang pose - to put both hands together to form a thicker gun.
  • for the Louder pose - voice amplification is simulated by putting the hands at an angle with palm facing outwards. Although it is debatable whether you will get louder, you will surely get people’s attention with this cute pose
  • for the Claws pose - if done right, people will be silenced by the absolute cuteness of this gesture.
  • for the Shush pose - optionally, one can make a “shhh” noise with their lips to add to the realism.