Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Blog update long overdue. Let's revisit the pressing issues that have been marring the life of one that possesses protruding cheeks (P.C term for fat face) - acrostics style (here enlies a crytpic message):

M oles: summer has finally decided to bless us with its presence and douse us with plenty of U.V. This signals the time to check for weirdo moles. How can you possibly keep track of all the moles on your body? Wonder if you play connect the dots with moles, a picture of something will appear? Hope mine looks like a cute cartoon character - like Angela Anaconda - good show that!

E tiquette: some people possess squat train etiquette. Example, some days ago I was sitting next to a guy who refused to negotiate his major leg spread. Now, he was by no means a big man so the amount of room he was taking up bordered on ludicrous (har Space Balls). His spread was so immense that I could feel every inch of his thigh and the transferral of body heat was really impacting my mental and physical wellbeing. Tried squirming around in my minimal space but alas! How about people that insist on sitting the opposite direction to the rest of the carriage? Madness!

R ight or Left Wing: Found a couple of quizzes to determine my political denomination, The Political Quiz and World's Smallest Political Quiz. My scores are 16 and centrist respectively. This all came about when I read an article about how conservatism is now hip in America. Unfortunate since I seem to be more liberal than conservative.

R eal Fighting: Was introduced to the wonderful but gratuitous world of Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) - thanks Chad for the videos! I was convincingly shocked by the spectacle, so much so that I had to pause half way and take a breather. UFC is basically a Mortal Combat type competition involving all these crazy hardcore fighters trying to bash each other into submission. Actually some of them don't even make it to the submission stage, rather involuntarily forced unconscious via repeated blows from their opponents elbows and knees. Ugh! And you are not bound by rules. There was this one guy who was punching the living day lights out of his opponent's testicles. Luckily his opponent was Japanese, though I'm not insinuating anything.

Y ear 2003: What will I remember 2003 for? For example I associate the year 2000 with the Olympics and my 21st (damn I just gave away my age). I guess I have been predominately career-orientated this year. Most of my energies have been focused on finding the right career direction and thus far I think I have made the right decisions. Fingers crossed anyway. So perhaps I will be aiming for more personal milestones in 2004.


X mas: Losta activities happening around Christmas including LOTR III (I really hope that reprive Faramir - they completely massacred him in LOTR II), camping at Kangaroo Valley (peeing in the bush, here we come), Hawaiian Luau at Jojoba's house (pina colada - yummalicious), midnight mass tonight, christmas dinner, last minute shopping today. I'm starting to get very excited!

M ovies: Watched Lost in Translation the other day. Most amazing thing about that film is how it manages to invoke such strong connections/emotions with such minimal dialogue. Oh and how they managed to make Bill Murray quasi-attractive (but not in a sexy-hot sense).

S easons Greetings: One of the most invigorating parts of the year where little things don't bother you as much and when you start thinking of the potential of tomorrow rather than the disappointment of yesterday. Only other time this truly happens for me is Easter. Its been a champagne 2003, I just hope that I've managed to capture most of it either on film, paper, video or other means. For those that are travelling (Mindy), I LOVE gifts from overseas and to everybody else: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A FRUITFUL 2004

!

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I have discovered the most fantastic columnist - Emma Tom.
She writes in the 'Opinion' section for The Australian and ohmygawd she's FUNNY! Her subject matters are captivating and quirky, and her style of writing is so witty and different. You don't find many people writing about such things as the late Belgian porn star Lolo Ferrari's international travel-restricting breast augmentations, and the use of the word "literally".
I encourage everybody to go online to The Australian and be prepared to laugh your anklets off.

Something else that made me giggle like a school girl is the PMS ecard on the Hallmark site. It involves a bunny saying "cutsie poo". Intrigued? Take a peek here.

The week that just flew by involved birthdays, a wedding, one sick day, dirty dancing! and the usual plethora of sports.
December birthday boys drank to the shit! How the hell can you drink 20+ alcoholic drinks and still remain upstanding? By my 5th drink I am already spewing up cajun spaghetti on the stairs/in the bathroom sink/on the bathroom floor at Bar Ace *shudder*
I'm sure the bday boys enjoyed the licking/nipple touching/general loving that night.

Fat-Ass-Whore-Michelle's wedding on Sunday. She looked beautiful. Funny how people always look so angelic in a wedding dress. Well I will have to prove that theory wrong b/c I promised someone in High School that I will get married in my tracky dacks.
Of all people I should encounter at the wedding, I never expected to see SUNSHINE BOY again. This is the guy Bec and myself used to drool over at uni (ok maybe it was only me). Imagine my pure delight when I saw him in not a yellow t-shirt (hence sunshine boy) but nay, in a suit. I'm thinking Armani model! (Michelle don't you dare say anything ... I have secrets about you too ;p)

Jennifer Gray was so annoying in Dirty Dancing. I've decided, she's even more of a loser than her sister Lisa. At least Lisa underwent some kind of metamorphosis of character i.e. from bitch sister to let me do your hair Baby sister. What kind of journey did Baby undertake? Only one I can think of is from a crap dancer to a slightly less crap dancer. How cut is Patrick Swayze's back though?

Need to get my spin move back!