Friday, May 30, 2008

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

I am engaging in supreme work multi-tasking:

Headset on one ear - participating in work meeting
Earphone in the other ear - listening to "American Boy"
Google Talk - chat
Writing Document - work
Blogging - to prove the point

I digress ...

This week has been rather eventful in an "I, Robot" kind of way. Thursday morning, I'm rushing to get the car started to make an early morning meeting. My car was parked outside that morning, and to give you a sense of its surroundings:- it is parked on a strip of grass that leads directly to the neighbour's house. Immediately beside the strip of grass is concrete pavement.

Before I hop in the car, I do the right thing by starting the engine - this was the previous owner's parting advice (I think he decided to keep it simple realising that I wasn't capable of up keeping his millions of fastidious care tips). With my kaya + peanut butter sandwich in one hand, I insert the key into the ignition (toot toot! beep beep!). Next thing I know, the car bunny hops and suddenly (and I mean very suddenly) gains forward momentum, heading in the direction of my neighbour's house. At this point, I'm still not in the car, rather I am hanging on to the car door with dear life trying very desperately to get in the car. The car seemed to be speeding towards my neighbours house - I really thought it was going to smash into the house blockbuster-Hollywood (or perhaps Australia's Funniest Home Videos) style with me lying unconscious still holding on to my sandwich. It could have been a disastrous, expensive outcome. Fortunately, I managed somehow to drag myself into the car and slam on the brakes. Let me tell you, very hard to locate the brake pedals when you are about to career into a house.

I breathed a heavy sigh of nervous relief, then realised that I had burned a hole around the knee caps on my favourite work pants thanks to the concrete pavement. I had not actually noticed that I was being dragged along the pavement all that time until the sting set in.

Such an improbable set of circumstances. Leads me to believe that my car has developed a mind of its own and is attempting to get away from me (by committing suicide?) a la the movie I, Robert.

Eventful morning. Missed my meeting and now have a very puss-filled knee.

I should mention the announcement on my train ride into the city the other day (this is the "train" part of the blog - see subject header). As per usual, cityrail was experiencing delays between Central Station and Wynyard. The driver was courteous enough to inform us that there was a delay and then added "But Cityrail guarantees same day service", to which some random commuter responded "Well that's a bit rich". I tend to agree.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Non Sequitur

I just witnessed Bindy Irwin latch on to her new (most likely anti-conservational), silver logie. Her performance on the podium was actually rather endearing, unlike the eeky scene between Anakin and Padmé Amidala on TV at the moment.

All my Star Wars knowledge comes from my childhood obsession with Space Balls (HELMET!). I have never seen a Star Wars episode until very recently. People's reaction to this range from indignance to horror, to assuming that I am some kind of defect representation of the human race. Personally, I think Pizza the Hut is much better than Jabba the Hut, as is Dark Helmet and Yogurt. Somebody actually got a bit cranky at me when I suggested that Predator is a better movie than Star Wars (which it soooooo is). I don't have to defend Arnie - he just is.

So I was having a conversation with a friend who works for a lift (i.e. elevator) company (only a few to choose from). How the lift industry has escaped the attention of the ACCC is an interesting thought. Anyway, he has to wear a hard hat - very male stipper-esque. I was telling him that my number 1 lift-bugbear is the missing 'close-door' button. Ignorant statement I know but it really does bug me! I just don't understand why the essential close-door button is not on all elevators. It's like having sushi without the wasabi & soya sauce, i.e. nice but not complete.

What if you were escaping from a deviant - a close button would come in handy. What if you were trying to avoid the company of a overly chatty colleague - a close button would be nice. What if you were running late for a train/game/meeting/lunch (list goes on) - yes a close button would be helpful. What if some person's flailing limb/accessory was unnecessarily triggering the door sensors - a close button would be absolutely essential. I may be pushing the point ad nauseum, but I feel as strongly about this as a Star Wars fans feel about Yoda. (Oh Samuel L just carked it)

The same hard hat wearing friend also has a very diry little secret (even dirtier than my One Tree Hill obsession). He races nitro remote control cars for a hobby. Apparently the hobby requires non-lame things like pit stops and remote control car modifications. Hehe. Each for their own ...