Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Time is of the essence

Notwithstanding the present exception of wasting time blogging at work (ack contradiction already!), the weekend proved that time is of the essence.

Normal Saturday routine comprises of midday wake-up, then mandatory kaya + peanut butter on toast, complemented with coffee + condense milk = YUM! Probably also tantamount to fat on thighs and bum. However, last Saturday required an early morning trip to Kerby - friend of Alan's and all things Honda. Eric if you are reading this, Prelude is still in good knick *why is my eye twitching uncontrollably*

(Here is Kerby fixing up my brake pads in my rear wheels) Had I stayed in bed that morning, I would have missed the opportunity of being enlightened re: Holden vs Ford. Did you know that Holdens are comprised of a mish mash of parts from a myriad of manufacturers i.e. you won't be able to go to a Holden dealer and ask for Holden engine. The treachery goes as far as the V8 supercars. Apparently Holden V8s use Ford components (I forget which ones, it got a bit too technical for me). This is why all the quality drivers have switched camps to Ford. So essentially what Holden have done is piece together various car parts and whacked a lion badge on the front. I am now a newly converted Ford fan, although I must commend the marketing department @ Holden for doing so effectively what they've been paid to do. Oh! And I also discovered that I have tools in the boot - enlightenment century!

Had I stayed in bed, I would have never met The Veronicas @ Hurstville shopping centre. Buggered if I knew who they are. Apparently they are twins and currently have a single titled "4ever". I always feel a twinge of sadness for the fatter/uglier twin - isn't it just 'unfairness' personified considering twins are supposed to be genetically identical. Some may be aware that I have a penchant for B-grade celebrities so joined the undersized, under-aged teeny bopper crowd - most of whom could sing 4ever word for word (way to go Kumon!). Also had the new Cajun chicken nuggets @ McDonalds (2 thumbs up) and assisted Sharlene pick out new mega stylo glasses (even though her ultimate choice was different to my selection).

Then it was time for touch footy near Haberfield, where random individuals were chasing after an 3D oval shaped ball - similar to how dogs behave but perhaps in a more co-ordinated fashion. Bec and Kathy's dogs were having a go at each other. Bec's dog (CoCo) was spewing everywhere, while Kathy's dog (Polo Bun) had a nuzzle on. He looked like the canine version of Hannibal Lector. I swear I heard him bark 'Clarice', or may be it was '(C)athy'.

While mulling around, the skyline decidedly metamorphosised within the space of 10 minutes. It's somewhat awe-inspiring to consider that time can move so swiftly and have such an impact on our environment - and meanwhile, we were still standing there ... doing nothing.

Had the (not so) pleasure of going to the Collector Hotel in Parra-doesnt-Matta on Friday night. Eclectic music, eclectic crowd, majorly seedy guys, big dance floor, cheap drinks. Probably won't revisit in the short-long term. Also visited the Roxy - that place has certainly changed since the last time I was there (in High School watching 'A League of Their Own'). The Roxy had 'Notes' printed on the back of their coasters, presumably to aid patrons in their spading activities. Could be an idea to get into the business of gimmicky coasters.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Cold Snap!

This frigid weather is playing havoc with my internal processes. Here's a 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' tale - I was so fricken cold the other night that I had to make use of the following:
  • flannelette PJs (where the drawstring has completely disappeared on one side - don't you hate that!);
  • dodgy Kmart jumper from 1992;
  • massive Kathmandu thermal jumper;
  • quilt with feathers;
  • comforter;
  • blanket with cartoon characters;
  • mega cool eBay blanket from when I was employed there in 1999/2000 (only unpacked it from its wrapping this year too);
  • 2 pairs of socks;
  • gloves;
  • portable heater.

    After ALL THAT, I was still so so so so so cold! If ever anyone made the observation that I am a cold hard bitch, I would have to think twice about disagreeing with it.

    Anyway, things that have plagued my mind this week:

    Sick Leave
    My P.A leaves a message on my phone on Monday morning to inform me that she was unable to come into work. So far so good. She then proceeds to tell me that she had been on the toilet all night and is suffering from a bout of diarrhoea. Why would anyone ever admit to having diarrhoea??!?! She could have just said 'I am sick and unable to come in' FULLSTOP - it would have certainly spared my mind from delving into unsavoury (brown, mushy) mental images. That's like saying 'oh I need to take a sick day because I have gonorrhoea/public lice/irritable bowel syndrome' etc etc. Why reveal more than you have to? Doesn't help your reputation, and it completely ruins the other person's lunch plans.

    Another Faux Pas
    While discussing a work related issue with my manager, I seriously said the following line: "If I had my own box, I would want to be able to touch it and play with it". After realising this unfortunate string of words, I promptly changed the subject hoping to dear God that he didn't have time to register. Looks like I got away with it relatively unscathed, but I guess I will never truly know.

    Touch Footy
    Some short guy had the audacity to approach me post-game and tell me that I shouldn't use my forearm when initiating a touch. This offended me to the core! So much so that I ranted back for about 30 seconds or so, ending with "I don't want to hear it, go away". I think it's a ridiculous assumption that girls should be less forceful when we play sport (especially when the guys is running full pace AT you), and it's even more ridiculous when a boy bitches about the amount of force a girl uses. Would he have said the same thing to a guy: answer = no. If he had such an issue with my forearm, he should have brought it up with the referee, or the tournament organiser. But do you know why he didn't? Because they would have laughed in his face and spray painted 'pussy' all over his back. Even the girls on his team didn't complain. What a complete idiot.

    Care Factor Zero
    Upon reflection, when you say 'care factor zero', it does NOT mean that you don't care. It actually means that you DO care. Why? Because x to the factor of 0 gives the answer of 1. Which means you care a unit value of 1. Question then becomes, care to the factor of what gives you zero (i.e. REAL care factor zero). After many discussions with many people (none of whom were mathematicians obviously), I finally found out the answer today. Care to the power of - n (or - infinity) will give you zero (or more accurately, tend to 0). The graphical depiction goes something like this:
    Interesting stuff huh? Well that was practically the highlight of my week, but the deletion of Dictionary.Com from the Google toolbar nullified that high. And my wallet is suffering from an overdose of loyalty cards. You can't escape them these days. Even the hair dresser gives out loyalty cards now. Pretty soon you will need a separate wallet just for loyalty cards. Perhaps I should start selling the idea of LoCaWa accessories (i.e. Loyalty card Wallets).
  • Sunday, August 07, 2005

    This Sux!

    The utter desperateness and despair of having to exercise your brain around non-comprehendable economic concepts on a Saturday night just plain SUX!

    So far, my procrastination activities have included:

    • Cleaning up my laptop, i.e. deleting random files so that all my programs now refuse to work. I need to refrain from going nutso with the delete button;
    • Installing/uninstalling illegal software - bet you porn will appear all over my screen on Monday morning during inopportune occasions, i.e. when manager walks past;
    • Eating junk, and drinking coffee with condensed milk. Why go carnation when condensed is so much worse for you?;
    • Getting excited about software that turns Word documents into PDF documents, i.e. so you can copy and paste!! Only to find out that it's a trial version, meaning that all my beautiful documents now have spashed across it "TRIAL VERSION" in big bold letter.
    • Praying for Seattle Storm to win tomorrow;
    • Downloading stuff on limewire - perpetrator of installing stupid java software on my laptop;
    • Bugging Gregan, esp with guitar smashes on MSN;
    • Downloading the polyphonic tone from 'Samurai Pizza Cats' for my phone - excellent song that! I will sing it for you now ... "Samurai Pizza Cats ... Oooh yeah!Who do you call when you want some pepperoni? Samurai Pizza Cats... [Speedy Cerviche: Right on!] They're stepping out crime, and you know that ain't balony"

    And this all started at 2pm this afternoon. *Sigh*

    Must try out this new photo function, so here is my favourite piece of drawing of all time:

    Ok, more coffee and I should do some work ...