Sun-Kissed Tattoos

End of the naughties, start of 'the Tens'. If it were a numbers game, this should be an excellent decade for yours truly given No.10 is my number of choice. That gives me 10 years to get it vaguely right.

Our farewell to the naughties was ceremoniously bizarre and quirky. We wound up at Mingara Recreational Club in Tumbi Umbi on the (false) information that we could oooh and aaah at the Central Coast version of midnight fireworks from the club. Wrong. and Fail. But there was a fake Elvis shaking things up.

The only semblance of fireworks I saw was the 15 free spins from my lucky pyramid pokie machine. While I won enough to pay a small cheese burger meal, others were not so lucky. Mingara is now entrenched in KS vernacular, and can be used to replace terms such as 'ripped off', 'dodgy', or can be simply be used as exclamations e.g. you Mingara!

Aside from Mingara and sleep, the rest of our waking hours were spent playing golf - now that's Mingara'd! We played 3 rounds of golf in 3 days. I ended 2009 with a crap golf game, and I started 2010 in the same fashion with the added eyesore of hideous tan lines. I officially have a natural Michael Jackson white glove on my left hand.

Nice.

Pain,Pain Go Away ...

... come again NEVER.

There is still the outstanding question as as to whether I am in fact soft or super hardcore.

Before I give you the answer to what is seemingly an obvious question with an obvious answer, let me just say that:

a) I'm still in a lot of pain
b) I woke up on the weekend with my arm stuck in the air (dunno what I was celebrating). It felt very freakish and took a bit of effort (and a lot of pain) to pry the deviant locked arm back to the mother ship.
c) I'm still in a lot of pain.
d) pain, pain, pain, pain, pain - my middle name should be Payne.

The x-rays suggest that there is no fracture, but rather bone and tendon bruising. After hearing scary and social sports-limiting stories about misdiagnoses and low-quality x-rays, I am now contemplating seeing a shoulder specialist. With April long weekend holidays coming up (minus the Anzac holiday which has mysteriously disappeared into the ether) I want the shoulder to be in a state healthy enough to swing a golf club.

Although this might be good excuse not to play golf ... but how can you go pass Barnbougle after the last experience. Not to mention the scallop & curry pies.

Stock take

Did you know that the brain is about 70% fat? My fat-ass head is literally fat!

All that fat will come in handy next week when we begin our annual Japan pilgrimage. On the to do list so far are:

• Hunt down and purchase Anpanman paraphernalia
• Go to the largest aquarium tank in the world and take photo of the gigantic whale shark
• See snow monkeys and giggle while they scrub themselves down. Wonder if they pee in the shower?
• Get Dougie to strategically position himself to make more photo magic

Time for a quick stock take of the last half of 2008, using the letters of the only acronym that matters at the moment - G, F and C. Sorry Colonel Sanders. Close but no chicken.

G for Golf
Golf at Barnbougle Dunes. Beautiful and memorable course, made even more memorable by chance meeting with Ian Healy and his mates who happened to be also playing on the same day. They invited us as guests to their dinner party and the night panned out to be most enjoyable. Nice way to forget about my front 9 performance: measly 4 points and 10 errant balls no thanks to the dreaded BUTTON grass. You will see YDG surveying a par 3 in the photo below - hmmm where to place the ball when there are bunkers all around, an undulating green, and a death trap in the middle. More golf played during xmas/new year break at Gold Coast. An unsurprising correlation between no. of games played and increasing crappiness of golf game. I guess we can't all have a natural swing arc like S (ux) - and I am not referring to Serena Van Der Woodsen.


F for Football
State Cup 2008 came and went. Best result yet for the team. We actually played on Sunday, and Sunday is traditionally a rest/go home day for us. Although we didn't find out that we were playing on Sunday until after we ordered the 2 buckets of KFC and Dominos Pizza. Wasn't a smart move.


C for Christmas and the Coast
Christmas came and went, then straight to the Gold Coast on Boxing Day. Came to the obvious realisation that I'm too old for theme parks. We went to Dreamworld, aptly named for the state that you are lulled into when queuing up in those never-ending lines. My farewell to 2008 and welcome to 2009 consisted of:

• tripping over stairs and grazing my knee of really dirty/manky carpet
• losing my beloved blackberry on new year's eve/new year's day on Broadbeach.

Off to a good start ...

KS - Labour Day Long Weekend

We are in the Blue Mountains, staying in a house that has shelves of books in every corner of the house. The owner has a super impressive collection - very impressed.

A trip to the Jenolan Caves yesterday gave us an insight into: CaCO3, crystals, stalagmites, stalactites and the beauty of time and nature (cue in Sir David Attenborough). We booked ourselves into the Orient Tour which led us (via dynamite blasted tunnels) 100 metres below ground. The view was spectacular.
YDG created her own spit crystals during her 15 minutes whooping cough fit. I was kinda fearful that her coughing fit was going to induce a stalagmite/stalactite earthquake.

We played golf today - not much to say about the day except for the fact that we didn't win the damn meat tray.

I have whooping cough

Before you know it, we have exhausted more than half of our yearly quota of public holidays. This Easter, thanks to some insidious bug, I had the misfortunate bestowal of a 5 day weekend. Sounds great ... but for the fact that I had to WORK FROM HOME on my sick day.

Perhaps the rigours of long weekend activities were partly to blame:

Attempting to play a 18-hole links-style championship golf course when: a) you have a 40/45 (depending on mood) handicap; b) your golf set has been sitting in the garage untouched and uncleaned for the past 6 months; c) suffering from whooping cough; and d) play well as an exception rather than the rule. Taken together, it's fair to say that it was a tough day all around.
I didn't play the game. Nay, the game played me (into the rough, the bunkers, the water hazards etc etc etc).

The salvaging moments? Finding 5 new golf balls (after losing 3); making donuts in sand with the golf buggy (then getting bogged); winning the day by one point (what that must say about Wayne and Sharlene's golf game .. mehehe). The not so-salvaging moments? Throwing a hissy fit on the 10th hole.

We need Sic Pandy from SicBo/Pandemonium fame to return!

Having to endure an entire Bulldogs game without being to cuss or curse due to malfunctioning voice box. Very trying! I won't get started on my close to intense antipathy for that football club. Just within this past week, the Bulldogs club has had TWO controversies over two of their star players. It's only Round 5?!? I recognise that there may be some historical reason for supporting the Bulldogs club, but what's the point of supporting a team where you can't respect the players that make up that team?

These pictures speak for themselves ...

Easter show was fun, despite not being able to eat meat. Not too easy when you are constantly surrounded by farm animals and seduced by taste testing treats. See Bec's colourful pixelated recount.



No point puffing up your chest ...



... unless you can hula hoop

The Zero-Sum Game of KS Golf

It's been a hectic, tiresome couple of week, JAM-packed (only one man would dare give me the rasberry, LONE STARR) with bday celebrations galore (spring fever babies), sojourning friends, golfing trips, touch football mayhem, and copious amounts of food and alcohol.
End result?
A significant impost on minimum sleeping requirements. But of course, all worth the sleep deprivation because it's been lots of fun in the sun ... but now I weigh a tonne.

The return of YDG (now full time magician) coincided with Sharlene's bday milestone, and Wayne's bday milestone (plus one). Such an auspicious occasion naturally warranted the revival of the KS GOLF CUP CHALLENGE @ The Vintage - Hunter Valley.



Foregoing previous team pairings of Pandemonium (YDG & I) and Perfect Pairs (Shar & Wayne), instead opting for new teams consisting of Sic Bo (Shar & YDG) and Caribbean Stud (Wayne & I - me being the stud of course ;p)
The prize?
Bottles of wine (of winner's choice) and the usual bragging rights.

We all started on par (oh the pun!)



... until Sic Bo found the rough





... and the double whammy sand bunkers. Poor SicBo, the bunkers were big enough to consume their self confidence.




... meanwhile Caribbean Stud was cruising along, casually wondering which semillion would go best with beef casserole dinner.




Caribbean Stud - winners! And unfortunately, the zero sum game of KS golf dictates, what was a fairly predictable outcome: SicBo - losers! Perhaps next time you should go with the name 'Two Up'. The added advantage may give you a fighting chance in KS GOLF CHALLENGE Mark II.


Before I sign-off, happy birthday all those Jun/Jul babies. I offer these pictures as proxy for your bday celebrations.