Friday, August 27, 2004


I walked into my manager's office the other day and as soon as I sit down he says to me: "What is another word for pernicious?"
First thought that entered my mind was 'wtf'.
Second thought that flashed by was 'just make up something'.
Official response was 'why don't you look it up".

Does such a word even exist? Afterall Jane Austen never used such word in all her exploits and she is the mother of all quality words (by the way, the wonderful WONDERFUL Darcy diving into the lake scene was aired last weekend). Upon immediate consultation with Dictionary.Com I have since been enlightened to the exquisiteness of this word - to think I have lived all these years not knowing it existed! Another regret to add on the list ;p

Dictionary.Com defines it as:
1. Evil; wicked
2. Tending to cause death or serious injury; deadly
3. Causing great harm; destructive

... I just hope he wasn't describing me as pernicious.

So in tribute to my new found word, I shall dedicate this entry to the 3 definitions outlined above (no doubt it will end up completely unrelated).

Evil / Wicked
I attended my High School friend's engagement party last weekend. The prescribed theme was 'exotic'. Firstly, I find it VERY odd that most people's interpretation of 'exotic' is to dress up in some kind of oriental outfit. So you had all these people in cheongsams, kung fu type getups, kimonos etc etc.
What the?
You mean I've been exotic all this time and never exploited it? Admittedly I would have to wear a cheongsam or kimono to fit into the description, but it's nice to know that Asians are viewed as exotic.
Secondly, my good friend from high school, who's always been a showman of sorts, insisted that the invite was misprinted and that the theme was supposed to read 'erotic' rather than 'exotic'. So she rocks up in the MOST risqué nurse outfit that covers less than the most revealing lingerie (I'm talking suspenders, ass hanging out, cleavage busting out, frills, thrills, spills). Forget the fact that they were old grannies and young tots present, you should have seen all the boys instantly turn into obsequious stupors. Within minutes, the hosts were bombarded with questions of "is she single, who is she, is she a gift from heaven, can she bear my children etc". You know you've made an impression when you are mentioned in the speech at the end of the night - but she loved the attention.

Tending to cause death or serious injury; deadly
Apparently if your body is asymmetrical, you are more proned to lose your temper and display rage. So the longer your left leg is compared to your right leg (Chad), the more of a dickhead you become on the basketball court ;p
And someone made me realise that my arms are actually not in proportion to my body i.e. they are way shorter than what they should be. I have been living under the false pretense all these years, believing that my arms were actually quite long. Now I understand why it is I am unable to rebound (it's obviously not because I am weak and meek).

Causing great harm; destructive
Sarcasm, mockery, blatant attacks, guilt trips, undermining of character, accusations, unfair comments, stern instructions - is it a matter of developing a thick skin; of learning to be less sensitive; or is a matter of putting people in their place? This is why the whole lie-down-Sally-Robbins situation is so fascinating.

Opals play Brazil in the semis tonight. Starting to get very VERY exciting! They are due to play at 11:45pm, but of course it is a foregone conclusion that Channel Crap will only show the last minute of the last quarter - man they suck!

Good luck to all those paddlers with time trials this weekend!

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Regression Analysis

I don't know why but I've fallen into a habit of inadvertently wearing my clothes backwards. Be it my touch footy shorts, my turtle neck, t-shirts. This trend has been occuring consistently for the past month and usually I don't realise the faux pas until considerable time has elapsed. Like the other day, I had to reverse my turtle neck while at the lights on the way to the station. I'm sure the cars adjacent and behind copped a look (unlucky souls) and were scarred for the rest of the working day. I apologise.
Is this my brain's way of indicating that I am regressing in an ever so subtle manner?

I guess this regression activity is consistent with the approach of my quarter-century birthday.

One entity that I wished would regress to the point of non-existence is STUPID CHANNEL 7! Man are they crappy beyond belief! I so wish that the Olympic rights were allocated to SBS instead. So here's the indecency of Channel 7, whom I will refer to as Channel Crap hereafter.
Women's basketball - Australia vs Russia i.e. Number 2 in the world vs Number 3 in the world due to play on Tuesday 5:15am. Big match, AUS is a real contender for the gold medal, AUS has the best female basketballer in the world, crucial win for AUS. What does Channel Crap decide to do? Show the freakin' diving instead?! They aired all but 6 minutes of AUS vs RUS - last minute of the 3rd quarter and the first few of the 4th. What kind of perverse abomination is that? Very annoyed!! Boooooooooo!! They have absolutely no idea ... none whatsoever.

I was just mulling today, you know how people always maintain that they have no regrets, well I'm kinda the opposite. I reckon I must have one regret a day. I regret displaying excessive road rage, I regret saying a wrong word, I regret being unprepared for a meeting, I regret having a speech impediment when interacting with important people, I regret having a big head, I regret picking har mee over chicken rice, I regret cityrail etc etc. You can't live your entire life without having regrets can you? Unless people make the right decisions and I just don't. Unless it's just a question of perception.

And it has been made abundantly clear to me that some people get yelled at, and other don't. There must be something inherent within me that puts me in the 1st category. But let's not get introspective because it's Sad Hurty (Thursday) and the Boomers play The Dream(ing) Team tonight!

Oh btw, photos have been posted and here is a taste of what you can see on 'My Photos'.

Mum's & Mindy's Birthday +
Tony Chan in his sonic boom undies

All Honkie'd Out - Peko Pose and T-Toro!

Friday, August 13, 2004

Bulk Billing is Great

Hello it's Friday! Woohooo!
Today's entry may be a little incoherent due to infiltration of snot leading to an uncontrollable state of nebulousness and wooziness. No wonder I've been falling asleep every other second. It's funny how people still sit next to you on the train when you're deep in sleep and your fat head is thrashing around everywhere. Aren't they afraid that my head will end up on their shoulder? *put your head on my shoulder, hold me in your arms, baby* Perhaps people don't know that song.

Anyway, today I went downstairs to the medical centre to get my toes checked out. And guess that? They did bulk billing - score! Shall be visiting Dr Batty for all medical concerns no matter how insignificant they are. The lovely doctor jabbed my left big toe in 3 places with a needle and ... instant relief! My feet feel like they have been given new life! He was spared from having to touch my right big toe because someone stepped on it the other day during basketball. I seriously saw stars when it happened, however it proved to be rather beneficial because all this blood started oozing out and now it doesn't look as bruised. Yummmmm ... blood and puss! I actually tried the burning a hole on my toenail with a paper clip trick last night, but once I heard my nail sizzling, I kinda got scared and stopped forthwith. Maybe it was the sound of my nail plate screaming (considering plants have feelings too).

Friday Fun Activities have included:
  • Yum cha where I got to have my favourite Fried Red Bean dumplings (I won't even bother with the ping yin) - so good that I ordered 8 of them.
  • Sending Olympic hero messages to the Opals, Lauren Jackson and Penny Taylor. Here is a taste of what I wrote:

    To Lauren Jackson
    This year, Lisa Leslie can keep a lock of your golden hair - because that's as close as she will get to a gold medal! Best of luck Lauren and I hope you demoralise the opposition on your way to GOLD!

    To Penny Taylor
    Best of luck PJ in your 1st Olympic games. Why settle for a penny from heaven when you can get a gold medal! All the best and let's GO FOR GOLD!!! Cheering for the Opals - Marissa

    I must preface the above messages by informing everybody that by sending a hero message, I have a chance of winning an appearance from an Australian Olympian/Paralympian at work and receive a framed and signed Athens Lithograph valued at $4600.
    So really I'm not as obsessive as you think.

    I encourage everybody to send a cheerio and a good luck to the Olympic team via HeroMessage.
  • Wednesday, August 11, 2004

    Pain & Suffering From Blunt Trauma

    Here is a picture to illustrate the reaction to my current woes, including:

    1. 2 majorly bruised big toes effected by the attrition of snowboarding & touch footy. The result of having 2 ugly, useless, throbbing and painful big toes are:
      (a) No basketball *sob* - it's suffering akin to death having to watch from the sidelines;
      (b) No balance - walking like an even bigger wally than ever. Just imagine an old lady walking over hot coals and you might have an idea of my current walking style;
      (c) No closed toed shoes - but it's not like I'm going to wear thongs/sandals to work and expose my hideous toes ... so will just have to live with the pain;
      (d) No sleep - due to throbbing bursts of pain every time the heart pumps.

    2. Status as pleb in the lowest echelon of the company officially manifested via demotion from office to work station when I return to old building in September. Everybody bar the PA's have offices ... guess I know my place in the world - would anybody like me to bring them some coffee? How many sugars with that?

    3. You like my Mickey Mouse beanie? It's neither too small nor gay

    4. Exams over! Am officially a solicitor Oct/Nov pending on results, after which I can do your conveyancing (hence the reaction above because conveyancing is truly un-fun)

    5. Lots of snow and a few major stacks at Thredbo & Perisher on the weekend. The few memorable ones include careering into Sharlene which led to her tumbling 20 metres down a steep mountain (hope the camera is working); whacking my head into the ground on a flat (I really see the value in helmets now, although the weight of my head plus a helmet could be unhealthy for my neck). Injuries were sustained on the entire left side of body, however pillow did not make an appearance (yay)! Oh plus my mouth and chin are so dry now, and copious amounts of moisturiser and lip balm is just not helping. Looks like I have dandruff on my face.

    6. Tony Chan off to Honkers. Here is my ode to you:

      Tony Chan
      Why so many fans?
      Hook layup the only move you've got
      Those sunnies - oh so hot!
      Hope you find a gal in Honkers
      So you can spend your time bonk(ers)

    Okay off to lunch. Have to leave early as it will take me forever to walk like a wally to destination.

    Thursday, August 05, 2004

    It's The Final Countdown!

    Oh the spine is tingling; hairs are standing on its tippy toes; eyes are widening ever so slightly (impossible as it may be for ching chong eyes to do so); Rossini's overture to The Barber of Seville is blaring to aid the momentum into the last hours before sui juris! The Rossini Crescendo is very fitting! Haven't been this excited in days. Maybe playing ball today helped? I've become so feeble that I might as well have given the ball away every time someone came close. Though I did block the crap out of some girl - you KNOW it's a good block with the referee blows his whistle out of shock and then apologises for accidentally stopping the game.
    Maybe I am talking it up a bit - but I haven't talked to anybody in days so it's allowed.

    Can't to forget to mention: 'Walking (or should I say boarding) in a Winter Wonderland'. Hope the snow is plentiful and that the pillow won't make another appearance in my ski pants this year.

    Wednesday, August 04, 2004


    On the home stretch and managed to score record breaking 3 hours sleep last night. That's the most in 4 days! Vitality is pretty good at the moment in light of rather weird 'walking on air' sensation the past few days. If only I was a Tekken character doing those time trial things, where you just collect "CHICKEN" every time your vitality level drops ... "CHICKEN!" Does anybody know what I am referring to?

    My forearm is SO sore, not from exercising (because I've don't jack all for 2 weeks). It's from squeezing condense milk from the bottle for my coffee. I've decided to go anti-cow and stick with the unheathier, rich-in-sugar option.

    Okay, property exam here I come ... GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

    Monday, August 02, 2004

    Fat cells are not working!

    I have been living voluntarily in solitary confinement (ridiculous as it may seem) for the past 5 days. Tomorrow will be the first day I get to interact with humans! I sound like Sunny from I-Robot (although I haven't seen the movie but I was never a fan of Asimov - don't hurt me Dr Goh). The excitement would be entirely warranted if only the purpose of my interaction was something a little more meaningful than bitching about how hard the exam was with fellow sullen sleep-deprived quasi robotic-state students. Okay take breath.

    So it completely sucks living the life of Jodie Foster in Nell - even better that Liam Neeson does NOT come save me. At least I've been able to curb my exponential increase in food intake during my nigelness. It's amazing how fast time flies when the pressure is on to cram loads of useless crap in your head. There were mornings where I forgot to go to the toilet - I know! Impossible feat.

    So yeah ... my fat cells are completely useless. You'd reckon that if your body was blessed with lots of fat cells, the least they could do is perform properly! How's this for 'I want a refund':

  • track pants
  • flannelette PJ top
  • thick wollen jumper
  • one of those sleeveless ski jumpers
  • knee high socks
  • pink bed socks
  • gloves
  • heater on
  • mickey mouse beanie (which may or may not be gay)

    and ... still too cold to sleep.

    Okay, must try and realign sleeping patterns so I can wake up for this damn exam.