More damning news.
A lady by the name of Judy walked the floor this morning to check everybody's posture and office setup.
She told me that I am LOPSIDED!!! *whimper*
Apparently my left-side is higher than my ride-side, and to add insult to injury, my ears are not in line with my shoulders (which means I am walking around like a turtle).

I now have this deformed vision of myself floating around in my head.

Love the mute function on conference calls! Enables the exercise of all sorts of tomfoolery ... like blogging.

MONSTROUS episode occurred yesterday.
I dropped my lunch box down the toilet - albeit after I flushed but nevertheless - eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww! I am subjecting it to a 7-day sterilising program.
How did it happen?
I think my left my bag open and as I swung it around, my apple lunch box flew out and into the porcelain bowl. I shudder just thinking about it.
I hope this is not an apocalypse.

Ok back to my mute function.

You know you can officially stamp an "L" on your forehead when you are sitting in front of your computer studying on a public holiday! (Yeah happy Australia Day - bonza you little ripper. We don't pop the hood/trunk, we open the bonnet/boot) And you know you can bold and add a little shading to that "L" when you are speaking in the 2nd person. Ack!
Though it's just nice to be able to sleep in (til 11:30), watch Love & Basketball ("Damn gurrrl, I didn't know Nike made dresses) and watch Oprah do her thang on a Monday. So I really cannot complain ... although a girl can ALWAYS complain *whinge whinge whinge*

The weekend has just flown by. Went to Chad's Chinese New Year gathering on Saturday and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Oh shite, have to go, Joe just rang and I have to fleeeeeee.

Recent weeks have been dictated by one theme: 'The lesser of two evils' (oh why couldn't it be the greater of 2 worths?)

Thinking that I chose the lesser of 2 evils by catching the later train into work turned out to be quite ill-fated. As luck always goes, I was hand-chosen by a weedy honkie guy to be his train buddy - bear in mind that the carriage was 80% empty (Evil No.1). Immediately he decides to plonk his feet up on the chair in front of him (Evil No.2). A few minutes into a journey, after inducing a false sense of security in his prey, began the battle of attrition. OHMYGOSH! Never in my life have I met a person who could sniff 15 times in 1 minute (Evil No. 3) Yes! I was that mentally unstable that I resorted to counting the no. of sniffs per minute. What made it even more aggravating was that he had NO SNOT to sniff, so here I am asking what the bloody hell there is to sniff (Evil No. 4). Do you realise that in my train journey of 40 minutes, I had to endure some 600 sniffles!! (Evil No. 5) To top of the melodic nasal symphony, he was also clearing his throat at a rate of 2 clears per minute (Evil No. 6). In an attempt to subtly inform him of my exasperation, I tried to tap my fingers, wiggle around in my seat and shoot quick but firm glances at him. But when he started religiously flipping his stupid flip phone, I knew that I had reached an impasse and definitely come to the end of my rapidly fraying rope. PLEASE JOE - Send this man the ettiquette book! Verdict = Pure Evil!

To study or not to study, which indeed is the lesser of 2 evils? Not studying leads to a waste of 5 years at uni, and studying equates to 15 hours of work on top of full time work. So, I went to my College of Law orientation on Tuesday and not only was I bombarded with 5 volumes of 'practice notes' (diabolic!) but I was oh so reminded of what it is like to be the "nigel in the corner of the room" - that's a song we made up in high school (inhumanity!)

Managed to choke in our grand finals for basketball. Not only did we lose, but we choked in style in front of a average sized crowd (oh the horror!) Should remind myself never to invite people to come watch finals especially when we play Rhino-Woman (only difference is she doesn't have horns).

Quick Tidbits:
• Congratulations to Malinda who has scored herself a new job - woohoo! Long time coming but well worth the wait.
• Mindy is coming back on Australia Day - woohoo! Presents galore or maybe not.
• If you have time please do the The InkBlot Test and tell me if you see a penis! It keeps asking me whether I see a penis and as hard as I try (har ... that wasn't meant to be a euphemism) I just can't see it!
• Felicity DVDs - should I or shouldn't I? As she says "sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever."

Okay I am compelled to redeem myself and divulge on a few significant events that have ensued over the past couple of weeks:

I lost my mobile phone running to Beecroft Station last Thursday. Isn't that the dumbest way to lose something? I must have been running like a wally again because my phone somehow managed to slip out of my bag and on to a softly padded patch of grass. The only reason I know this is because a lovely lady by the name of Helen went to the trouble of contacting Nokia and eventually Vodafone and as it is said proverbially, the rest is history.
I missed my phone (specifically free-time) so much that I decided to dedicate the song "white flag".

Am now officially considered "hard core G" (thanks Rebecca "Schmello/Xena" Lau) as a consequence of the fully hardcore bootcamp last week. I have two words SHOULDER DIMPLES and while we are on the subject of two words, I might as well add another two TRICEP QUEEN.
I literally have this huge ass big grin on my face when I stare at my shoulder dips in the mirror. Ahhhhh. Maybe I can lick water off it?

Lessons from the bootcamp include realising that I am carrying heavy duty F1 tyres around my waist. Doing hill sprints is hard enough without the physique of the michelan man. Thus why I felt fainty (sorry cannot think of the word yet guys) after every session. Though protein shake and lack of sleep (Jack!) were partly to blame - not that I am making up excuses of course ;p

Oh the other big big news is that my friend Rhonda got engaged. I was so shocked that my first words to her were "are you shitting me!!?!!"
Somehow I think there could have been a more eloquent way to express my congratulations. Nevertheless I am extremely happy for her. It's hard to imagine sometimes that we've come so far from those chicken noodle Matthews Cafeteria days.

Okay need to flee to get to touch footy.

I always mean to blog about significant, meaningful things, but intentions have yet again been thwarted.
However I will mention the trivial fact that if I was a natural disaster, I would be a Hurricane:

What Natural Disaster are you? Take the quiz!

Not living up to the perfectionist idiosyncrasy of the Virgo - not that I am a believer of star signs, in fact I am anti-star signs - I have somehow neglected the A in my cryptic acrostics. Guess it turned out to be too cryptic huh? Perhaps the A can stand for Acrostics Apparition.
Thanks to Sharlene 'don't beat around the bush' Wong for the salient observation - not very Cancerian of you Shar!

Updates on xmas-new year period soon ...