No your eyes do not decieve you ... it is indeed 4:45am.
ooo all these new funky things you can do with Blogger now - takes all the fun out of HTMLing really. Okay, need to return to my piece of shit assignment which is due in a few hours

Mortification Part Deux ('Der' would probably be more appropriate)

Another cause to rip into a tirade of unpalatable language - albeit circumstances are more towards embarrassing rather than aggravating (stupid HECS debt).

Well mortification usually equates to Marissa making a fool of herself (again) in front of her manager. WHY WHY WHY? As if the errant SMS wasn't enough **cringe** **shudder**


Occasion: Fortnightly coffee catch-up
Location: Cafe on Castlereagh Street
Scene: As we were about to wrap up, this conversation ensued:-

Manager: Maybe you should wipe the chocolate off your mouth before we leave.

[ I begin my clean up as the psychologically scarring effects from the embarrassment & the mortification set in - while trying to act calm & collected of course ]

Manager: Oh wait, you are wiping the wrong spot. It's on the other side of your mouth.

[ Okay no more saving to be done. The only question left on my mind is whether I had crap on my mouth the ENTIRE time. How can you possibly take a person seriously when they have crap around their mouth. ACK AAAAAACKKKK!! ]

Learnings:

Never take yourself seriously because something trivial like chocolate sprinkles will mock you!

Stick with water when dealing with important people.

Food usually ends up on the right side of your mouth.

I wonder if we will win tonight?

Those who are offended by foul language - please turn a blind eye now:

FUCKING HECS DEBT!

I hope the government can justify squeezing the livelihood out of us poor maggots who have to contribute to their unsubstantiated, dodgy, logically unsound policies whilst bearing an obscenely grosteque debt in excess of $26K that is accumulating interest at a rate in excess of $600p.a. Crap I'm pissed off!!

Talk about a deterrence to getting a freakin' education. Talk about stymying higher learning. Do you know that before the Howard Government came into power, students were only liable for a HECS debt of $2442 a year, regardless of what course they enrolled in! Ahhh nostalgia!

How Exshoiting!

'What could be so exshoiting?' I hear the curious screams en masse. Only that I get to wear my knee-high footy socks at touch footy tonight. Woohooo! I don't know why it never dawned upon me to do so earlier. It's the perfect solution to all my woes: it keeps your legs warm during those cold winter nights when one should really be under the doona watching Queer Eye; it keeps manky puss-ie (amended spelling just for you Tony) wounds from getting re-infected (hence the lack of need to sue local council); gives the opposition a false sense of security since they will most likely equate girl wearing gay knee-high socks with unco tryhard la-hoooos-rrr. It's all very 'fetch'.

I went shoe crazy last week and bought 3 pairs in 2 days. I have since discovered that I have a complex with high-heeled shoes. No, it's not because I sometimes walk like a bigger wally when I have heels on - it's much more profound. I simply dislike being taller than my work colleagues. I feel awkward and uneasy and accordingly feel the need to slouch - and if I slouch anymore than I already do, there would be no need for me to grow old. Plus it's so much easier to run for the train when you have flat shoes on. Same goes for jay walking and escaping that person you know but don't want to talk to.

Verdict of POPP Party: resounding success. If only I could metamorphosise those fake notes into real cha-ching.

And oh yes - bets are on as to whether we choke on Wednesday.
Details are as follows: KGV @ 6:30pm - Tracey to provide the music every time we score.

Manky ... Very Manky

I have a woefully manky left leg due to excessive contact with non-plush grass during touch footy. I am the proud owner of a "festering wound" that will not stop pussing. It's ridiculous the amount of puss that is oozing out of this thing. I've had to wash all my work pants because there are all these spots of puss everywhere - it's all very crusty (pun intended)! Anyway, I thought my manky, pussy, festering wound was crippling my leg because I was starting to lose all feeling and movement - probably not a good thing just before a basketball semi-final (which we won btw - yay!). But it's amazing the placebo effect a doctor's words (albeit still lacking sympathy) can have on worried patient. And some people take WAY TOO MUCH pleasure inflicting pain-sensitive people with hydrogen peroxide.

My shoes decided to break down on me this week - it's so sad! It's so broken that it fell off while I was walking up the stairs at Town Hall Station - very embarrassing - also didn't help that I had really daggy socks on. So had to go to buy some shoes during lunch time today. In addition to my festering wound, I now have a huge ass blister on the same leg. Very ouchy.

And oh yeah, a bird pooped on me at lunch yesterday. Stupid pigeons! I hope more of them get toasted when they light up the Olympic cauldron at Athens.

Basketball Finals next Wednesday @ 6:30pm - you've all been officially informed. Should be a cracker, and hopefully we don't choke like we usually do. Let's hope I recover from my manky wounds before that time.

Birthday Bonanza!

All I can say is that there were plenty of oldies during the period 1975 til 1983 who had spring break fever. Why? Because I have been celebrating birthday after birthday for the past 2 weeks. And not one of them was even my chinese birthday - what's going on? ;p
That being said, happy birthday to the following (won't reveal ages for privay reasons):

My mother - whom apparently still looks like my sister;

Mindy - the big TWO ONE, not to mention a new double bed and a bigger room;

Shar - definitely making a mockery of the post 1/4 century crisis theory;

Wayne - not quite at the eligible age yet;

Sylvia - you can have your cake and eat it too;

Vicky - a win at touch footy in honour of your birthday;

Justin - your girlfriend works down the road from me.

So all this cake-eating, birthday celebratory dinners and extra calories are not conducive to maintaining the pre-winter taut physique. Oh I remember the days when I could nearly lick water from my pubescent shoulder dimples (what's the bet google will have an advertisement about puberty on my blog now). The manifestation of winter became horribly evident the other day when, after work, I peeled off my pants and saw that my 80 denier stockings¹ had holes and ladders at my feet. I should explain that I have worn these stocking previously and thus they have been stretched sufficiently. This being the case, the ONLY reason these THICK 80 denier quality stockings could have ripped is because it could not contain the excess amount of fat I have stacked on. I point your attention to the following analogy: if you put in too much water in a balloon, what is the likely immediate effect? *whimper*
That's it, not eating meat pies at the snow this year. But how can you resist?

Saw the movie 'Mean Girls' the other night. Possibly the best movie I've seen this year. Portrayal of personalities that are clearly excessive was spot on, without being too cheesy or lame. I was not bored for a single second, and was laughing throughout the entire movie: "I shall call you caddy". Plus there was a seriousness about the movie that was endearing too. Then again, I do have an offbeat sense of humour but definitely 4 stars out of 5 in my books.

Managed to pull of a sick post move last night! Woohooo. Also managed to have snot fly out of my nose while attempting a second post move. The ball ending up hitting the side of the backboard. This is what happens when you're too concerned about appearances. Alternatively, this is what happens when you have 2 dibs in the pot. And no, I'm not naturally snotty - I have the flu.

The reason there have been no updates of late is because I wanted to leave the P.T photos up as long as humanly possible - looks like 11 days is the extent of human capabilities these days.

And quick question: do people read aloud in their heads when they read? I've always thought that was the wrong way to read when I was young. I hated the fact that reading was so noisy. It's meant to be a peaceful activity right? But how can it be peaceful when you're voicing all these words in your head? Do monks read out aloud?

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1 For the benefit of non-females, this means really really thick stockings.