Sunday, April 02, 2006

April Fools?

I went to a witch doctor on April Fools Day. He was very good. He came close to recounting my entire tragic injury-ridden history without the help of lead questions, or any information disclosures from me. I literally just sat on the witch-patient chair, and within a few moments, he pronounced knowingly "let me tell you what's wrong with you". Dr Phil eat your heart out.

So he presribed me 2 packs of drugs. The pharmacist warned me not to consume any alcohol during the course. My life as a teetotaler beings ... *sob* In preparation, I drank as much red wine as I could on Sat night.

I decided to 'google' these 2 packs of drugs. I'm very VERY scared about the information my eyes are relaying back to my now very drowsey brain.

Pack One - Endep 10
Used to treat depression, and can be used to treat bed wetting - OMG?!?!?!?!
Google says: "The main ingredient 'amitriptyline' is used to relieve symptoms of depression such as feelings of sadness, worthlessness, or guilt; loss of interest in daily activities; changes in appetite; tiredness; sleeping too much; insomnia; and thoughts of death or suicide. Amitriptyline is also sometimes used to treat certain types of pain." OMG?!?!?!?!?

Pack Two - Eplim
Used to treat: Epilepsy ; Maintenance treatment as a mood stabiliser in bipolar disorder to help prevent episodes of ill health (unlicensed use); Treatment of acute manic episodes in bipolar affective disorder (unlicensed use) - OMG!?!??!!
The news gets worse. Side effects may include weight gain, confusion, Shaky movements and unsteady walk (ataxia), and temporary hair loss - regrowth may be curly?! OMG?!?!!?

Is this an April Fools joke or what??
Posted by Marissa at 9:10 PM
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10 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:18 AM

    I roam blogs. And I have seen many gone to Australia, and I just wanna know... is there opportunities to prosper over there?

    Kindly assist, thanks.

    rldaminx@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bex12:23 PM

    Mars - I always knew you were mentally unstable. Now we have irrefutable proof muahhahahhahahhahahahahahhahah! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. sharzy1:43 PM

    Dear Scope,

    Depends on what opportunities you are after. :)

    Australia is a GREAT COUNTRY! *end patriotic voice*

    Marissa, I seriously think you should NOT take those drugs because:
    a) You are incoherent when I speak to you, ie. at lunch time, a few minutes ago
    b) you are crying every few minutes, c) you are sleepy and can't work properly
    d) I don't know whether you should take advice from a 'witch' doctor, especially one that's said I've got a 'weak' aura around me!
    e) When your pain receptors are dulled, your body cannot tell you you seriously need help, so if you have a broken leg, you definitely need to feel the pain in that, and not think it's just a bruise
    f) If you can't feel the blister in your heel, the one that has blood leaking everywhere, then you definitely need to get off those DRUGS!
    g) 'Nuff said!

    ReplyDelete
  4. sharzy10:46 PM

    Yes, YDG, a few years ago, I went to accompany a so-called ex, to see about his bad ankle, and I was sick with the flu.

    The so-called witch-doctor's first comment to me, when he just looked at me, was, "your aura is very weak" I put it down to the flu, but I think he said, no that's not it. I was a bit dumbstruck to question him further. He was actually shaking his head at me... so I left it at that. Mustn't have made an impression :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. sharzy10:49 PM

    PS I ALWAYS google my symptoms, from having the "skier's thumb", to my PCL, to my lymphnodes, etc. hehehe...

    Also, to meaningless things, like star-signs and who's my best match, etc. etc. ;) Just kidding!

    Wikipedia is also another GREAT source of info. :) I lurve it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gregan2:14 AM

    FUNNY you should mention good ol' Wikipedia, Sharlene, as I was just there looking up my particular drugs of choice as I read about Marissa's new found drug habit!

    1) Amisulpride - side effects: Parkinsonism, nausea, weight gain, and less commonly QT interval prolongation (which can lead to serious heart arrhythmias)

    Well I knew about the weight gain thing *sigh*. Trying to counter it is a bitch.

    2) Venlafaxine - Common side effects include:

    * Nausea
    * Dizziness
    * Sleepiness
    * Insomnia
    * Vertigo
    * Dry mouth
    * Sexual dysfunction
    * Sweating
    * Vivid dreams
    * Increased blood pressure
    * Electric shock like sensations

    Rare to very rare side-effects include:

    * Cardiac arrhythmia
    * Increased serum cholesterol
    * Gas or stomach pain
    * Abnormal vision
    * Nervousness, agitation or increased anxiety
    * Depressed feelings
    * Confusion
    * Neuroleptic malignant syndrome
    * Loss of appetite
    * Constipation
    * Tremor
    * Drowsiness
    * Allergic skin reactions
    * External bleeding
    * Serious bone marrow damage (thrombocytopenia, agranulocytosis)
    * Hepatitis
    * Pancreatitis
    * Seizure
    * Tardive dyskinesia
    * Difficulty swallowing


    Scary or what??
    I can vouch for both the insomnia and sleepiness - this doesn't help with my weight either *sigh*
    OH and YES I have VIVID dreams. Very freaky vivid dreams.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Gregan3:35 AM

    hey wait a sec... what the hell.. Witchdoctor????

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous7:00 PM

    I put my faith in drugs and people that know better than me. If it sends me down like a Lemming down a cliff, then so be it. I hate drugs though.

    Shar, so-called ex??? I'm offended :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous7:00 PM

    I put my faith in drugs and people that know better than me. If it sends me down like a Lemming down a cliff, then so be it. I hate drugs though.

    Shar, so-called ex??? I'm offended :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous7:00 PM

    I put my faith in drugs and people that know better than me. If it sends me down like a Lemming down a cliff, then so be it. I hate drugs though.

    Shar, so-called ex??? I'm offended :)

    ReplyDelete

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