Cold Snap!
This frigid weather is playing havoc with my internal processes. Here's a 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' tale - I was so fricken cold the other night that I had to make use of the following:
After ALL THAT, I was still so so so so so cold! If ever anyone made the observation that I am a cold hard bitch, I would have to think twice about disagreeing with it.
Anyway, things that have plagued my mind this week:
Sick Leave
My P.A leaves a message on my phone on Monday morning to inform me that she was unable to come into work. So far so good. She then proceeds to tell me that she had been on the toilet all night and is suffering from a bout of diarrhoea. Why would anyone ever admit to having diarrhoea??!?! She could have just said 'I am sick and unable to come in' FULLSTOP - it would have certainly spared my mind from delving into unsavoury (brown, mushy) mental images. That's like saying 'oh I need to take a sick day because I have gonorrhoea/public lice/irritable bowel syndrome' etc etc. Why reveal more than you have to? Doesn't help your reputation, and it completely ruins the other person's lunch plans.
Another Faux Pas
While discussing a work related issue with my manager, I seriously said the following line: "If I had my own box, I would want to be able to touch it and play with it". After realising this unfortunate string of words, I promptly changed the subject hoping to dear God that he didn't have time to register. Looks like I got away with it relatively unscathed, but I guess I will never truly know.
Touch Footy
Some short guy had the audacity to approach me post-game and tell me that I shouldn't use my forearm when initiating a touch. This offended me to the core! So much so that I ranted back for about 30 seconds or so, ending with "I don't want to hear it, go away". I think it's a ridiculous assumption that girls should be less forceful when we play sport (especially when the guys is running full pace AT you), and it's even more ridiculous when a boy bitches about the amount of force a girl uses. Would he have said the same thing to a guy: answer = no. If he had such an issue with my forearm, he should have brought it up with the referee, or the tournament organiser. But do you know why he didn't? Because they would have laughed in his face and spray painted 'pussy' all over his back. Even the girls on his team didn't complain. What a complete idiot.
Care Factor Zero
Upon reflection, when you say 'care factor zero', it does NOT mean that you don't care. It actually means that you DO care. Why? Because x to the factor of 0 gives the answer of 1. Which means you care a unit value of 1. Question then becomes, care to the factor of what gives you zero (i.e. REAL care factor zero). After many discussions with many people (none of whom were mathematicians obviously), I finally found out the answer today. Care to the power of - n (or - infinity) will give you zero (or more accurately, tend to 0). The graphical depiction goes something like this:
Interesting stuff huh? Well that was practically the highlight of my week, but the deletion of Dictionary.Com from the Google toolbar nullified that high. And my wallet is suffering from an overdose of loyalty cards. You can't escape them these days. Even the hair dresser gives out loyalty cards now. Pretty soon you will need a separate wallet just for loyalty cards. Perhaps I should start selling the idea of LoCaWa accessories (i.e. Loyalty card Wallets).
